Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
****Might be a trigger, do not read if you have had a problem with teen porn or sex, not explicit, just asking for help and advice****
When I was a 14 year old school girl, my late Father engaged in a sexual relationship with a girl who I went to school with. This relationship continued for quite a few years until she eventually left him, I pray, for greener pastures. At the time I was distraught, I was scared my friends and teachers would find out. It has always repulsed me, confused me and to this day I carry the scars.
Because of this hideous experience, as well as others, I had hoped that I would have had the foresight to find a man who would not involve himself with such degrading, sordid and grotty behaviour. I am assuming for most young women this subject matter does not carry as much weight, as surely it was a given, right? because these types of men only exist in nightmares, right? But because of my experience it was something that carried a whole lot of weight. I had seen it first hand, how disgusting it was to pray on these young minds. Obviously I find all types of sexual addiction incredibly sad and all utterly degrading, but for me my husband couldn't have chosen a worse subject, minors, gross.
My husbands sexual preference is / was girls, they start at approx. 14 years old, although I did see younger on his laptop, I think his main focus was 14 - 18, and some where as old as 21 years. There were also older women featured in movies, but they were coincidental, ie the mothers of the daughters being filmed etc... you get the picture. pretty disgusting. And then there is the sex, from what he has told me I am sure they would have been young, the hours and hours and the hundreds of young girls he had sex with, not to mention our money he spent. As I write this my stomach is churning, but I have to get this out, I really need some advice, where do I go from here, the facts are my husband has spent the last two decades being intimate with girls (not children).
My husband says that even though they were legally under age they still had breasts etc, so in his mind this makes it ok. For me I see minors, never mind how much make up they are wearing etc..., sure they are physically developing but mentally they are children. He obviously couldn't see this. His mind had become so addled He said he preferred these younger girls bodies because they had better bodies with no cellulite, perfect big breasts etc.... I don't know. How is it that a middle aged man can have such a warped idea of what is acceptable. Its as though his sexual behaviour had been stunted since he himself was a teenager. He is now middle aged and over 100 days sober.
I am aware that there are as many men seeking out teenagers as there are any other genres in the porn/sex industry etc... But my husband seems to hide behind something his therapist once said 'biologically men will always lust after younger more fertile females'. Ok so there might be something in this, however, I believe most men have matured by the time they hit middle age and see these girls for what they are, young attractive girls, with no doubt a handsome young man in toe. Not sexual objects who give him tingles when they walk past him, yuck, pass me the bucket, surely it would be the end of man kind if this was the case.
I don't know where I am going with this, I think I am crying out for advice, hope and a healthy life, arrgghhh
When I was a 14 year old school girl, my late Father engaged in a sexual relationship with a girl who I went to school with. This relationship continued for quite a few years until she eventually left him, I pray, for greener pastures. At the time I was distraught, I was scared my friends and teachers would find out. It has always repulsed me, confused me and to this day I carry the scars.
Because of this hideous experience, as well as others, I had hoped that I would have had the foresight to find a man who would not involve himself with such degrading, sordid and grotty behaviour. I am assuming for most young women this subject matter does not carry as much weight, as surely it was a given, right? because these types of men only exist in nightmares, right? But because of my experience it was something that carried a whole lot of weight. I had seen it first hand, how disgusting it was to pray on these young minds. Obviously I find all types of sexual addiction incredibly sad and all utterly degrading, but for me my husband couldn't have chosen a worse subject, minors, gross.
My husbands sexual preference is / was girls, they start at approx. 14 years old, although I did see younger on his laptop, I think his main focus was 14 - 18, and some where as old as 21 years. There were also older women featured in movies, but they were coincidental, ie the mothers of the daughters being filmed etc... you get the picture. pretty disgusting. And then there is the sex, from what he has told me I am sure they would have been young, the hours and hours and the hundreds of young girls he had sex with, not to mention our money he spent. As I write this my stomach is churning, but I have to get this out, I really need some advice, where do I go from here, the facts are my husband has spent the last two decades being intimate with girls (not children).
My husband says that even though they were legally under age they still had breasts etc, so in his mind this makes it ok. For me I see minors, never mind how much make up they are wearing etc..., sure they are physically developing but mentally they are children. He obviously couldn't see this. His mind had become so addled He said he preferred these younger girls bodies because they had better bodies with no cellulite, perfect big breasts etc.... I don't know. How is it that a middle aged man can have such a warped idea of what is acceptable. Its as though his sexual behaviour had been stunted since he himself was a teenager. He is now middle aged and over 100 days sober.
I am aware that there are as many men seeking out teenagers as there are any other genres in the porn/sex industry etc... But my husband seems to hide behind something his therapist once said 'biologically men will always lust after younger more fertile females'. Ok so there might be something in this, however, I believe most men have matured by the time they hit middle age and see these girls for what they are, young attractive girls, with no doubt a handsome young man in toe. Not sexual objects who give him tingles when they walk past him, yuck, pass me the bucket, surely it would be the end of man kind if this was the case.
I don't know where I am going with this, I think I am crying out for advice, hope and a healthy life, arrgghhh
I had been abused as a child and had a pretty distorted view of Sex growing up. It's worse if you're a boy that was abused because it could lead you towards abusing when you grow up.
It's clear that your Husband is an abuser. Perhaps the best way forward is CoDA rather than Sex Therapy. Codependence is deeply rooted and attracts us to abusive people.