I haven't written in for a few weeks. I guess I've been scared and ashamed to. I haven't been doing too well. There's been a lot of stress in my life lately. Which naturally has made me want to turn to the screen. I've been fighting really hard to resist but I've had some slips. I don't want to make excuses though. I know I haven't done the best job holding myself accountable and taking the steps I need to get better. I know I should've written in earlier. Things have been good with my lady but I don't want to let her down. We recently started couples counseling and it's not easy but I can tell we're both fighting so hard to make our relationship work. I'm fortunate enough to have a partner that is so understanding and commited to helping me get better. I have a lot riding on me getting better and I don't take that lightly. I'm going to start being consistent. I'm going to be honest and act with integrity.