Its getting so bad its ever hurting my job :(

Welcome back! There are a number 12 step groups that you can attend. SAA Sa. PA Making a commitment and sticking it is sometimes difficult. I keep my goals set high enough so I can attain them. I don't look too far into the future. That will only make me forget the hear and now.

Okay you are at rock bottom. The good thing about rock bottom is that it is a rock. Figure out where you went astray. I learned early on in recovery that I didn't just end up in front of my computer watching porn. There are many little things that lead up to it. Some are so subtle that they are hard to see. Every addictive behavior is caused by something. There is a root cause as to why you need to view porn. For me it was to cover up a severe trauma at a very young age. It helped soother painful memories and calmed me when I was upset.

My recovery includes being honest. If I am upset I must admit I am. If I am sad I too must admit it.

I had to replace my vices with virtues. I took a bad thing (porn) and replaced with healthy things. I work my program more than I worked my addiction.

Get to a 12 step group, work the steps with someone else.

There is hope. You can and will recover. But that all depends on your willingness to change your very nature.

Starting today I'm stopping (again). Stress in my trigger, when I get stressed....Porn would make me forget about it. That hard thing is that my job requires a LOT of computer use and I have to be alone while I am making entries which gives me access. Oh I see the small triggers and summer is NOT going to help. I see any suggestive commercial and that can trigger a setback.

The really sad thing is the level of kink that I am now used to seeing is NOT the normal bedroom activity. So I have lost interest in sex at home.

Put a rubber band on your wrist and every time you catch an urge coming on pull it back and let it snap against your skin. It'll be a reminder that you need to find something to distract you, a break, or it could make an okay reminder alone. Write down reasons why you need to stop this addiction .. What life will be like if all the sudden this addiction was gone. After you snap that rubber band read it. I did something similar - on my iPhone I had an app where I could record my voice. After a relapse I recorded my miserable self .. Then when I felt an urge the next time I pulled out that voice recording and realized that once I get my high off porn .. that miserable self of me will be waiting right there and none of it would be worth it. The level of kink you talk about is the same for me.. I get off to things I wouldn't even do in real life yet when I see it .. you get the drift. Do something drastic to get yourself out of the mood. Put ice somewhere uncomfortable or take a cold shower.. Something to calm that misguided sex drive.

I relate to the loss of interest in sex too. I haven't had sex or a girlfriend in over 2 years (I can't even imagine having sex) .. and it'll stay that way until I change and that's why I'm here. So make a change with us bud you can do it.

" once I get my high off porn .. that miserable self of me will be waiting right there and none of it would be worth it". That is one of the suggestions I've heard at 12 Step groups too ... when we think of using the addictive behavior don't stop at imagining the great high we will feel but continue and imagine how rotten we will feel after and what the consequences might be.. that sometimes dampens the desire,, and then imagine something better to do that would result in positive consequences that would be much more rewarding IN THE LONG RUN.

My lunch time today with be the most difficult....Im alone in the building for over an hour...:(

do you have to stay there alone?
go for a walk? bring a book? meditate? call someone?

Try swapping symptoms. watch YOUTUBE instead. try looking at Tony Robbins motivational speeches. He isnt specifically for people in recovery but motivation is ahuge issue for us all.

I made it through lunch! It was NOT easy. Its amazing how porn can get a hold of you like this. I have to be careful of so many triggers....hell TV commercials have done it in he past for me.

sadly those triggers are everywhere...we got rid of certain channels and limit what is seen on TV ...

I limit what channels I watch, music I listen to, radio stations and all too.

Will there ever be a time when I won't have to be "on guard" to these triggers? I realized I am at the "high" (or low) of my addiction, anything can set me off. I just hope that I will be able to watch a movie and not have to worry about a sex scene in the future.

I'm sure some here are going to argue with me, tiresome as that gets. BUT...

Any addiction boils down to a few simple things. You get an endorphin rush out of it, lighting up the pleasure centers of the brain like a Christmas tree. You get distracted from whatever mental state you don't like to be in, whether it's hunger, anger, loneliness, tiredness, (the HALT tiggers most common for addicts) or getting your mind off some awful thoughts/memories.

We get addicted to something that seems easy, quick and that works to get that endorphin rush and to change your mental state to something other than what it is.

12 stepping is great, I've done it. Quitting and abstinence is a start, the first step to getting out of a hole is to quit digging. But you ALSO damn well better find a better way to get an endorphin rush that takes your mind out of whatever the mental state is that makes you want to view porn.

Once people do THAT the addiction loses the power it has. Do that, and you no longer will need to run screaming from the room at the sight of a bra commercial, eventually.

OTHER people can do it, so can you. Just stop using porn as the "only" way to change your mental state and get that endorphin rush.

Get a hobby, exercise, theres a 1000 options, see which works for you. Theres NO WAY to live in the modern world without seeing erotic images. So either go be amish or find replacements.

OK, cue the ****heads that will say " just stop, abstinence is enough!" (Man, ive been here a couple weeks and I'm already sick of those people...)

I agree with RichardRyder that finding other things that stir your passions is valuable, whether it's learning about some other subject, finding some at-home project to do or something else. But idle hands are the devil's playthings, as they say.

I have to work on a computer, unsupervised, for my work also, and overcame my addiction without even using filters on my computer (not that that isn't great to do). I did not do a 12-Step program either, but I did participate here and on the Web site yourbrainrebalanced.com.

I also read a book called "Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame" by George Collins, which was very helpful, and I made a lot of "attack plans" for each day, especially if I knew I'd be facing difficult situations. My attack plans are essentially to-do lists -- things other than I either need to get done, would benefit from doing or simply might like to do. That way, when I was tempted, I had something else I could go do instead without having to think too much about it.

We can't escape the world's temptations, but we can teach ourselves to respond differently. It used to be that when I'd come across a provocatively dressed woman, I'd go out of my way to get the best look possible. Now, I try to remember that getting an eyeful is not going to do me any good and look the other way.

(Full disclosure: Sometimes I slip and look anyway. This is something I'm still working on. But at least it is no longer leading to me spending hours trying to recreate images of those women in my mind of find similar images online.)

I've re-embraced my faith and my relationship with God over the last year, and prayer has been a very powerful tool for overcoming moments of addiction, as has listening to the spirit within that warns us when we are getting off the right path.

Anyway, this is longer than I meant for it to be, but that's a run down of what has worked for me.