I became extremely depressed 1-1/2 years ago when my son moved out. It was very sudden for me. It's not that he wasn't old enough, etc. but he had never talked about it and he and his father did not tell me of his plans. It was supposedly so that he could tell me all of his plans--where he was going to live, with whom, how he would support himself since he was still in college but instead of hearing it from him I got it in an email because of a credit check. I still have issues when I don't see him or hear from him even for a couple of days. I also find myself not wanting to go on vacation, not be away from home, etc. One day I said to a co-worker that I felt like a dog who panics when left alone or in a strange place -- separation anxiety. I feel like my son will forget me if he doesn't see me. He isn't good about initiating communication with us so that just "enforces" that feeling of being forgotten in my mind and heart. I cannot say for sure but my feelings may go back almost 39 years when my father committed suicide. He left me and I fear my son will leave me as well. Today my son was with us for over 5 hours but as soon as he left I felt extremely sad. We had a good day so why was I sad? I was always a confident person until the day he moved out. Now I doubt who I am, that I matter to anyone, my self esteem is gone. Why should that be? I will admit I gave up alot of my own interests for m\y son which is also a problem. But why do I feel worthless if someone tells me they shouldn't use a tide stain pen I suggested? I felt devastated which is ridiculous!!! If my son doesn't tell me goodbye, I feel like I have not been a good mother and that he doesn't respect me. I know these feelings are wrong but they hit me just as quickly as if I had been punched in the stomach or slapped. I can be in tears that quickly. when I don't see or talk with my son I fear he will leave me. I don't know if any of you feel this way or not. Just wondering where I fit in with the rest of you.
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