Sensory Integration Disorder Support Group
Sensory Integration Disorder is a neurological disorder causing difficulties with processing information from the five classic senses, the sense of movement, and/or the positional sense. Sensory integration disorders vary between individuals in their characteristics and intensity.
First, let me say that I am happy with my life and blessed to have the children that I do. They mean the world to me. I have two, school-age children, one with specail needs (sensory ) and one without.
When my ex and I first divorced 4 years ago we were not fully aware of what was going on with our son. When the papers were drawn up they stated the basic: custody, child support, etc.
I have created a situation for myself that I can be flexible with work and be available for my sons needs; doc appts, therapist, OT, etc. I bare the burden of these appts on my own and miss lots of work time.
Right now my son ( & daughter ) see their Dad everyother weekend and 2x week for dinner. This works OK, although truthfully my son does better with fewer transitions, a full nights rest, nutritional foods and consistent parenting.
Now for my question... and I ask it in this forum because I know you are all very familiat with a SID child and their needs. I ask myself what is better for Ryan? The going back and forth between me and his father, who clearly have different ways of doing things. Or, staying with me consistently and visiting with Dad only during weekends, when the transition less affects school behavior?
In my ex husbands defense, he is a good-natured man. He just is not as aware of what Ryans needs are and how to deal with them appropriately so much goes overlooked and unattended too. It is NOT my goal to separate him from his Father. That would be detrimental to both of them.
Any suggestions... I have put this off over and over again in my mind. And then of course, i dont want to rock the boat with his Dad either. I have already asked him to try and be more available for atleast some of the IEP meetings...
Any suggestions?
When my ex and I first divorced 4 years ago we were not fully aware of what was going on with our son. When the papers were drawn up they stated the basic: custody, child support, etc.
I have created a situation for myself that I can be flexible with work and be available for my sons needs; doc appts, therapist, OT, etc. I bare the burden of these appts on my own and miss lots of work time.
Right now my son ( & daughter ) see their Dad everyother weekend and 2x week for dinner. This works OK, although truthfully my son does better with fewer transitions, a full nights rest, nutritional foods and consistent parenting.
Now for my question... and I ask it in this forum because I know you are all very familiat with a SID child and their needs. I ask myself what is better for Ryan? The going back and forth between me and his father, who clearly have different ways of doing things. Or, staying with me consistently and visiting with Dad only during weekends, when the transition less affects school behavior?
In my ex husbands defense, he is a good-natured man. He just is not as aware of what Ryans needs are and how to deal with them appropriately so much goes overlooked and unattended too. It is NOT my goal to separate him from his Father. That would be detrimental to both of them.
Any suggestions... I have put this off over and over again in my mind. And then of course, i dont want to rock the boat with his Dad either. I have already asked him to try and be more available for atleast some of the IEP meetings...
Any suggestions?
deleted_user
I would tell your husband about your sons SID, and tell him about transitions, and to attend IEP and other therapy meetings,, I would sit and tell him what is happening, if he see the problem perhaps he can work on things on his end to smooth out transitions..
Olismom
Well it is a very personal issue, and you are wise to address it maturly. What is the issue that is upsetting on school nights? What is the problem witht he SID that the father is not getting? If you are clear in your mind then you will be able to explain it clearly to him. Then he cannot overlook things. It took my husband a while to understand our son. It wasn't that he was not willing to, it is just his nature to be self absorbed and not open to the issues, until they bother him. Then he realized we need to adjust. Since we have an older typical kid along with Oli who is 4 and has autism, many things like going to resturant are treats dad ddoes with the older brother alone. Oli is happy to do the things he likes and does not miss going out in the least. Maybe comprmises are needing to be made, and that is to be expected, as kids grow! I hope you can figure it out, but just write all the concerns out and get real clear!!
deleted_user
My son is the same way with transitions. He does not do well in new environments or around new people. Maybe you could get your husband on board by getting him to go to the meetings and explaining everthing in depth. Try getting him to reed The Out of Sync child. Maybe your son doesn't do well with transitions due to what kind of schedule your husband keeps your children on or if they go out alot into new environments or has unfamiliar people come to the house while he is there. It may not be just the transition it could be other things that are factoring in.
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