Senior Dating & Sexuality Support Group
This community is intended for senior to discuss senior dating and sexuality, and the specific issues that arise for seniors, such as starting over as a widow or widower.
i am divorced and am at a point where I am wanting to do things with people around my own age -58. When I was younger-much younger-I was very involved in church. It was my social life and most of the people I ran around with were people I met at church. I've been away from that for many years, but now as I rebuild my life, I'd like to be involved again. The problem I am running in to is that my age group (over 55)-the seniors-seem to be so,,,well-OLD! It's not just that they look old but the groups I've seen don't seem to have any activities. I've seen this time and time again: a luncheon or ladies bible study in the middle of what is a work day for me. Or they go to sing at the nursing homes. Sometimes they take a trip to a garden or something. Just so boring and blech! I am planning to do other things too, like join a women's bowling league, etc...I don't know.
And it is a group with a President and Secretary and more including $20 dues per year, and every week they play cards.
On Christmas they do a little more.
Plus they separate for cards into male and female groups, so that when I said that I wanted to join in with the Ladies instead of playing cards with the Men then they all thought that I was being very forward indeed, but they laughed it off.
I quit that group long ago, but they did first teach me how to play pinochle very well.
I also tried an older person Christian singles' group too, and they wanted us all to be like brothers and sisters, and all they did was Bible studies and nothing about being single. I tried to explain that I have my own real brothers and sisters and a singles' group is meant to be about creating couples - so I quit them too.
If you can't find something you like, try puting a cheap or free ad in your local community newspaper and try starting your own group. Find an activity you want to do for fun and just do it. If you are having fun, you will attract others to it. There is no need to sit and grow old. When I do pass on, I'm going out kicking.
Good Luck
I find book groups only want to read fiction and then talk about how it feels, while I can not understand the overwhelming resistance to nonfiction books and serious discussion.
Sports and gyms and concerts are fun for people who view their time as frivolous, and I thank God that I finally grew out of that mentality.
I just do not think the idea here is really just to "meet people" because I meet people all of the time, but the idea is to meet people with the idea of dating and mating or at least to be close friends.
Otherwise we meet new strangers and after meeting them they still remain as just a little more than strangers.
Like going to a singles group that only wants to study the Bible, or another singles group only wants to play cards, then going to a sporting event where the people are only interested in the sports - in my view - all of those are missing the point and just wasting time and wasting the end of their lives.
This surely sounds like I am a cynical old man, but really I go out often and I like having my fun times, and yet it troubles me that younger people are so full of life, while older people purposely try to keep their relationships as very shallow and distant and "boring" and blah, which is what I see the opening comment to be describing.
Like the Senior Center tells us to come join in with basket weaving and bingo games and waste of time.
I don't know where you live . . . but the people I hang out with are energeic, intellegent, active, and in no way shallow. Very few of the groups I interact with are limited to seniors . . . perhaps that is one reason. Age (if you do not have serious physical issues) is just a state of mind. The key to happiness is to be joyful and curious. One of the three bookclubs I belong to even reads only non-fiction. I would never be a part of any of the groups that you describe . . . if that is truly what they are actually like.
Perhaps you are looking in all the wrong places. Or, perhaps the problem is you. Your written words do sound very bitter and judgmental. Is that the real you? The Universe tends to mirror back to us the vibes we send out. I suggest that you do some self-reflecting to determine if the image you are projecting is the real you or if there is a kinder, more interesting person deep inside crying to get out. To attract friends and enjoy life, you first have to act like a friend. Surely there were one or two people in all these groups with whom you could have connected had you given it half a chance. If not, self-reflect . . . . . .
This is a very active town and the women and men here are not the norm. As my accountant told me -------women are tough and very active.
There are a lot of active groups here and the churches are big on missions trips that are usually full of seniors doing physical labor.
I know of some people who have found groups who love dancing, and they have a blast. SO it is just a matter of looking.
Quepasa I totally agree with you. I have some things I am gling to do, like the water exercise class (I love the water), just waiting for them to start, so I guess I am in limbo right now. But you are right...We are so much more attractive in everywayl, even to ourselves, when we are out and about LIVING, instead of moping around. The worst thing in life isn't dying, it's not living. And it's not going to come knocking on our doors if we live the life of a hibernating hermit. Each day is a fresh and clean slate to write on. I'm determined. Thanks all...
All she really did was deny the truth and gloss over the reality.
Some people want superficial - but I see no sense in that.
As like this forum is called = "Senior Dating and Sexuality."
It is not about seniors playing frivolous activity as if we are turned into prepubescent children again.
What I posted here was correct and still is accurate.
How can you judge people you have never even met? I am not going to get into a pissing contest with you as you have obviously decided to live your life in bitterness.
But, just so you know . . .my multitudes of friends includes some Mensa members, some NASA space scientitists, several psychologists, a bunch of highly educated and very involved Unitarians, a smattering of other Ph.D.s, many humanitarian liberals, and even one or two right-wing Republicans . .. a diverse group that are very connected to the world and their fellow man.
You are isolated inside your own bitterness. That is your choice. I had a wonderful evening last night with a brand new friend. Meanwhile you are alone with your miserable self. Go figure.