Senior Dating & Sexuality Support Group
This community is intended for senior to discuss senior dating and sexuality, and the specific issues that arise for seniors, such as starting over as a widow or widower.
Hi, I just need some input. I may be 53, but when it comes to dating and relationships, I'm not very knowing.
I've been dating people over the last year, mostly unsuccessful. But I persist. anyway, there's this fella I met on a dating website. We started talking on the phone just over a week ago. He seems too serious, too quick. He's talking like we are a couple, and would I be willing to move out his way? would i live with him? Apparently I'm a one in a million (not).
We went out for a drive today. He said he considers we are now in a relationship. When I talked of planning to be busy next year, with work and study - he got a bit touchy, and asked how much time i would have for him. I was saying maybe one day a week, and he said in all seriousness 'then I would wait for you.'
I just feel this is all too much like an instant relationship. 2 weeks ago, we didn't know each other at ALL.
I'm not sure what I''m looking for - a friend and lover, not too serious, not too casual - and this is seeming like I've signed my life away. He even asked if I was against marriage.
I just don't think the instant relationship thing is realistic, and I am feeling crowded.
I'm going to have to have a chat with him, but i"m not looking forward to it.
I"m so used to being independent - while part of me longs for a companion, I think I am best alone.
I've been dating people over the last year, mostly unsuccessful. But I persist. anyway, there's this fella I met on a dating website. We started talking on the phone just over a week ago. He seems too serious, too quick. He's talking like we are a couple, and would I be willing to move out his way? would i live with him? Apparently I'm a one in a million (not).
We went out for a drive today. He said he considers we are now in a relationship. When I talked of planning to be busy next year, with work and study - he got a bit touchy, and asked how much time i would have for him. I was saying maybe one day a week, and he said in all seriousness 'then I would wait for you.'
I just feel this is all too much like an instant relationship. 2 weeks ago, we didn't know each other at ALL.
I'm not sure what I''m looking for - a friend and lover, not too serious, not too casual - and this is seeming like I've signed my life away. He even asked if I was against marriage.
I just don't think the instant relationship thing is realistic, and I am feeling crowded.
I'm going to have to have a chat with him, but i"m not looking forward to it.
I"m so used to being independent - while part of me longs for a companion, I think I am best alone.
The "too much too soon" smells to me like a scammer or hacker. For a while, I even had the bad experience of being followed (creepy!) at every dating website that I explored by the same guy. He even got mad at me because I always ended up identifying him in the first few dialogs. He always committed the same linguistic mistakes and I happen to be a linguist. I made him repeat the same words over and over. That's how I caught him. The downfall: I could never turn him into the authorities for lack of substantial evidence, although I even caught his IP address and he was a master in disguise, I must tell. Besides, the authorities have cases more important than an old lonely lady to deal with. So we must learn to take care of ourselves and alert others like us, unite in a support group.
I agree with those who say that there is a great group of men who want to either control us women, or have sex without commitment. It is as if they are discharging all the wrath of their past frustrated marriages and the bitches who sucked their last cent on us, who do not have anything to do with their personal frustration. So, I have decided to meet people rather in person taking my own safety measures and every now and then I explore some free dating websites briefly. So, in the end, what I suggest is to have faith (even if you aren't a believer), pray, meditate, find peace, find a purpose (which is not necessarily living with a couple) and keep your eyes open to possibilities and opportunities. Maybe the right person (man) will come into your lives when you least expect him...
I agree with what everyone has said here already basically & I think that kind of possessiveness at any stage, let alone after only 2 weeks of knowing him would scare anyone off.
Sounds like he may be rather unstable emotionally to me.
Anyway, he's in afghanistan right now has a daughter and his wife passed 3 years ago. All we were able to do is email each other daily for 3 weeks. He's coming home in October and lives aproximately 25 miles away. No I gave no personal info except what he can see on my facebook page. I have most of it blocked unless your family.
I wasn't scared of the rush to be my boyfriend. But 1 day he asked for my address he said he wanted to ship his things to my house. I asked what things he said his personal stuff. (in my mind don't you have a daughter? Why don't you ship your things to her?) I told my SNL about this he's ex-marine intelligence officer. He immediately said NO! and to tell him that he says that's not a good idea. My SNL said he could be shipping drugs from afghanistan to my house it happens a lot these days. I didn't mention that part to James.
After I mentioned what my SNL said he got upset and said he didn't appreciate him getting involved in our relationship. I got maybe 2 more emails and never heard from him again. YOU NEVER KNOW WHO IS AT THE OTHER END OF THAT LINE.
Always be careful never meet unless someone knows where you are in a public place. Never leave your drink unattended and go to the restroom. You can have fun and you can meet a wonderful man. Just follow your gut instincts and stay safe. Good luck!