Self-Injury Support Group
Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.
I'm a long-term substitute in our school district and because I move around so much, I've had the privilege of knowing a lot of kids as they went through our schools. I read the notes that get passed in class since Columbine High School (I always tell my kids that if I see notes getting passed I'm going to pick them up) because one of my first thoughts about that event was that maybe they passed a note in school which could have changed the situation if someone had read it. So I pick the notes up and read them...... not to the class, to myself, because it's part of my job to keep them safe.
In 2000, I intercepted a note from one of my 7th grade girls telling a friend she was cutting herself. I took the note straight to our counselor (she's a trusted friend) at lunch because the issue wasn't well known then, but I knew it was important. Theresa (school counselor) said I should send my student down to her as soon as she got back from lunch and I did that. The girl was REALLY angry with me and I don't think she ever really got over it........ but I'd do it again. I know this is a really big problem and I also know that big problems stay big if we don't do anything about them.
So my question is: What should I look for? What signs should I keep an eye out for? Or should I at all? I know it's hard to talk to teachers (I'm mostly teaching high school now) and that people who don't understand SI can be very difficult about it. As is the shame and guilt of doing it in the first place...... It just seems to me that if we can get some help for whoever needs it as soon as possible, then maybe we can start to make a difference in the lives of the people who are doing this........
So, what should I look for, what should I say if I see something that bothers me and what's the best thing to say and/or do about getting help?
If one of your teachers had noticed, and it was a teacher you sort of liked (as much as anyone likes teachers in school) what would you have wanted them to say or do? Remember that, as a sub, I'm not really that tied into the administration at any one particular school site. So I'm probably not going to go running to the principal with any of this........ if that helps.
In 2000, I intercepted a note from one of my 7th grade girls telling a friend she was cutting herself. I took the note straight to our counselor (she's a trusted friend) at lunch because the issue wasn't well known then, but I knew it was important. Theresa (school counselor) said I should send my student down to her as soon as she got back from lunch and I did that. The girl was REALLY angry with me and I don't think she ever really got over it........ but I'd do it again. I know this is a really big problem and I also know that big problems stay big if we don't do anything about them.
So my question is: What should I look for? What signs should I keep an eye out for? Or should I at all? I know it's hard to talk to teachers (I'm mostly teaching high school now) and that people who don't understand SI can be very difficult about it. As is the shame and guilt of doing it in the first place...... It just seems to me that if we can get some help for whoever needs it as soon as possible, then maybe we can start to make a difference in the lives of the people who are doing this........
So, what should I look for, what should I say if I see something that bothers me and what's the best thing to say and/or do about getting help?
If one of your teachers had noticed, and it was a teacher you sort of liked (as much as anyone likes teachers in school) what would you have wanted them to say or do? Remember that, as a sub, I'm not really that tied into the administration at any one particular school site. So I'm probably not going to go running to the principal with any of this........ if that helps.
I think as a teacher you shouldn't hold your students to a standard. Realize that they are human and that they can't always give an answer for what they do. Depending on the child I think for most kids it would be hard for them to talk to a teacher about something like SI. SI is something most of us are not proud of and I know for me it is very hard to talk about. If someone asks about one of my scares even today I just shrink and try to cover what they are looking at. Embarrassment is defiantly an issue when confronting someone who self injures. They need to know before the conversation even turns to talking about SI that you are not going to judge them for what you are about to ask or talk about.
My one teacher found out that I SI because he walked in on me when I was in the chemistry lab alone using the burner to burn myself. He let me know that he wasn't going to treat me any different, but that he was greatly concerned for my well being. He didn't run the issue straight to anyone (we didn't have a school counsellor), however he educated his self on the topic and tried his best to help. Most schools today have a school counsellor I would suggest that if you notice anything that you personally talk to her (keeping the students identity confidential). SI is usually a cry for help. Accidents do happen and yes sometimes injurers get carried away and have to receive medical attention, but for the most part people who self injure are not trying to commit suicide as so mane people believe. SI is usually away for people to deal with things that they don't know how to handle emotionally. Just use your judgement and definitly show your concern.
I know it's hard and I know it's scary to talk to someone like me that you don't know about something so difficult to deal with. I want you to know that I have ALWAYS believed that my first duty is to the kids I work with so I think I'll take what you said to heart. I'll keep my eyes open (really open), make myself available to ANYONE who needs someone to talk to.... and then probably just keep it all to myself. AS LONG AS NO ONE IS IN DANGER OF LOSING THEIR LIFE.......
I just can't sit back and hold my tongue if one of the kids is suicidal in any way at all.
I will also keep checking back here to see if you've added something I should know and please remember that you can always just message me if there's something you want to say that you don't want on the boards......
Thank you again for all of your help....
I'm so sorry we live in a world where any of us feels the need to hurt ourselves and our bodies (because ALL of us find ways to hurt ourselves whether we know it or not) and at least there is this place where we can come to feel safe....
and maybe even heal just a little.