Self-Injury Support Group
Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.
I feel like I'm at breaking point at the moment. How much longer can I be expected to 'cope'!
I go to Day Patients for my Anorexia 5 days a week (I was an inpatient about 2 months back for 4 months) and on Tuesday my thoughts about suicide were so strong I couldn't go home. I have to take the train home and all I kept seeing was images of me throwing myself under it or jumping in front of cars etc. Luckily they had a spare bed there and held me overnight.
Yesterday wasn't so bad, I just felt numb to everything so I wasn't really thinking about anything. Just feel veryhopeless about the future. But this morning I've got up and the thoughts are whirring around my head again and I just feel like screaming at the top of my lungs!
Everyone keeps telling me the only way I will learn to cope is to go through times like these. But my worry is...what is it...something like 1 in 10? DON'T get through it. They succeed in committing suicide. I have never actually tried because I wouldn't need to. As far as I'm concerned there is no 'try'. If I want to die...I will die and I would make sure of it. Most people who are saved from suicide attempts must have in some way, still wanted the chance to be saved. I know that wouldn't happen to me which is why I've never made any attempts on my life.
Suicide aside....knowing I can't do it, self harming is the next coping mechanism which is tempting me. Again, images just go through my head of me doing it etc... sometimes they are so bad they can make me feel quite sick and dizzy.
Well...anyway...I just needed to get these thoughts and feelings out. I don't know why because it doesn't take them away and you are all just people sitting on computers trying to help people the best you can. I guess I just don't want to feel so alone with these thoughts. I just want them to go away...
x-Bliss-x
I go to Day Patients for my Anorexia 5 days a week (I was an inpatient about 2 months back for 4 months) and on Tuesday my thoughts about suicide were so strong I couldn't go home. I have to take the train home and all I kept seeing was images of me throwing myself under it or jumping in front of cars etc. Luckily they had a spare bed there and held me overnight.
Yesterday wasn't so bad, I just felt numb to everything so I wasn't really thinking about anything. Just feel veryhopeless about the future. But this morning I've got up and the thoughts are whirring around my head again and I just feel like screaming at the top of my lungs!
Everyone keeps telling me the only way I will learn to cope is to go through times like these. But my worry is...what is it...something like 1 in 10? DON'T get through it. They succeed in committing suicide. I have never actually tried because I wouldn't need to. As far as I'm concerned there is no 'try'. If I want to die...I will die and I would make sure of it. Most people who are saved from suicide attempts must have in some way, still wanted the chance to be saved. I know that wouldn't happen to me which is why I've never made any attempts on my life.
Suicide aside....knowing I can't do it, self harming is the next coping mechanism which is tempting me. Again, images just go through my head of me doing it etc... sometimes they are so bad they can make me feel quite sick and dizzy.
Well...anyway...I just needed to get these thoughts and feelings out. I don't know why because it doesn't take them away and you are all just people sitting on computers trying to help people the best you can. I guess I just don't want to feel so alone with these thoughts. I just want them to go away...
x-Bliss-x
You are not alone with these thoughts. If you need to talk, let me know.
I wrote this the other day but I'm still struggling :( just trying to find ways of distracting myself.
The weekend is going so slowly and I just want my brain to stop for a while.
x-Bliss-x
*shrugs* i don't know if it'll ever go away.
anytime you need to talk, i'm here.