Self-Injury Support Group
Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.
17 years ago I was a cutter...8th grade...loved it. All through high school and college I had an affair with it. It was always there every time I needed to be numb. Every time I needed to feel better. I hated myself. I got help. I stopped. 7 years ago I stopped. I got help. I got married I had kids. I have a great job. I am funny, and out going with these scars on my arms. I used to love my scars..my battle wounds...now I hate them or hated them. I lost the battle tonight. Life got too hard. Now I am scared just a little piece of relief..one tiny tiny mark so no one will know. And now I am sitting here almost high because the relief is so amazing. I don't wanna do this again. I don't want to be that person. I have already started therapy again. I knew it was coming. Then the guilt, the guilt of something so bad making you feel better. I wanna make my whole arm look like that tiny scratch. Ugh. The thing about pain, is it demands to felt.
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Hi All.... It's great to see all of the new people joining the site... I'm loving it!!...smileI'm not sure if people are aware that if you don't have Bipolar Disorder but have a loved one who has the disorder we do have a board for people to go to in order to share their experiences and seek friendship, support or adviseIt's the Friends and Family of Bipolar Board.... I hope you'll take a...
It is amazing after I do it but I am ashamed of the scars.
I've been able to stop cutting in long spurts, for years at a time here and there, but it makes it's addicting little way back in. I do have limits....I won't make new cuts, I only cut over old scars. That was the line I drew with myself, if I can't stop for good, then at least I won't make any new scars.
I'm not ashamed of my scars, I consider them my battle wounds from some pretty hellish battles....so they don't bother me and I don't try to hide them. My mind has gotten so used to cutting to deal with stress and fear, that about 6 yrs ago I started cutting in my sleep. I would have nightmares of being attacked by my father and dreamed that I was stabbing him with a knife. Problem was the only person I was stabbing with a knife was me. The Technical Term is "Amnesiac Dream States" and I can tell you it really freaks you out when you wake up from a dead sleep with a knife sticking out of you and your lieing in a pool of blood. The worst so far got me 47 stitches in one arm. Luckily its only 1 nightmare that triggers it, and I do bed checks every night to make sure there is nothing sharp within a 100' range of my bed.....because if you have to walk that far to get something, you wake up.
So, the moral of this story is, No, you do not want to start cutting again. Because it is addictive as hell and it can always get worse than you want it to. Use some of the coping skills that you learned in Therapy, things that mimic the feel and process of cutting, without actually putting a blade to your skin. Hang on to the success of not cutting anymore and hold it tight. Write out the pain in a journal, get it out of your head. Then take the pages and burn them if you want, symbolize dealing with them and being done with them. Use a rubber band around your wrist and snap yourself when you feel that urge to cut comes on. and if your not currently in Therapy, perhaps it's time to get back in so that there's someone you can talk to. Do whatever it takes to avoid getting sucked back into this life. Your the only one who can fight it and keep you out of it and you have to fight the battle hard.
Take care,