Yeah that would be fat, under your skin is fat. If you're cutting deeper, that's the opposite of trying to stop. You don't mention seeing a Counselor or Therapist...that's really helpful with Self-harm. There's a reason you started self-harming, it's a Learned Behavior, a bad one...people start doing it to deal with negative emotions/feelings/issues/trauma that they don't know how to deal with otherwise and they don't really know who to turn to, to get help...usually when we're young and just don't have the knowledge and logic to handle the tough things.

Its a very addictive behavior and really hard to stop, as you know....but not impossible. Like all addictive behaviors, there's a lot of willpower and fight involved, you also have to learn safe, healthy coping skills, or healthy learned behaviors to replace the self harm. That's where a Therapist or Counselor comes in, they can teach you safe coping skills to deal with the negative emotions and feelings and/or trauma your trying to deal with and sort out, so that you don't feel the need to harm yourself. This isn't something that's easy to just stop on your own.

Do you have someone that you can go to and talk to so you can get some Professional Help?

I am already seeing a therapist and I'm trying my hardest to stop but it's really crazy for me at home with my mum getting drunk and me fighting with her all the time. I was clean for over a month but then I lost my best friend, and that messed me up. Thank you for the advice.

Sorry your in a tough living situation. Is there anyone you could go and stay with or is your mom getting any help for her drinking?

I know the stress your under and how hard it is to accomplish anything peaceful or purposeful in that atmosphere, i was married to a functioning alcoholic for 25 years. Just try to spend time alone in your room where you can control the stress and peacfulness somewhat, or spend time outside the home with friends or study at the library, etc. The better your able to calmly handle your situation the better you'll be able to stop cutting. Here are some Internet sites to help you find some coping skills to help with stopping. Check them out and see what you can use.

http://teenshealth.org/en/teens/resisting-cutting.html

https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/self-injury/self-injury-self-help-self-help-coping-skills-for-self-harm/

http://www.halfofus.com/situation/self-injury/