Self-Injury Support Group
Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.
idk why i even decided to post this but here it goes. i honestly believe i will kill myself next time i try. i dont know what else there is to say. i feel like a failure, i hate myself, and as many times as i try i dont feel like there is anyone who could say they honestly cared if i lived or died. even at school i look at the people and get the same feeling, at home or anywhere i go for that matter. this isnt some game or anything to get more people to talk to me this is the truth of how i feel right now and how ive felt for a long time
sometimes i think back wonder if i killed myself back then when i first tried to kill myself would life be better and i this odd feeling of yes it would of been. now i wonder if that is true now if i ended my life now could i save other the people of the pain of dealing with me.
although i talk to people and make friends easy i dont feel like i have much choice. anytime i talk to someone about myself and if i tell them i feel suicidal i get this odd feeling of they could care anyless.
so i do what i can to stay alive and i think to myself yes their are a few people out there that care but when it comes down to it these are the same few people that helped but me into this state of constant despaire and lonelyness odly enough. the same people i called friends in elemntry school are the same ones that made me feel like killing myself. and although i never told this ever, during my fith grade camp i almost walked out into the forest to kill myself and that was the third time i had contiously considerd the thought of killing myself then and there. the first being in the fourth grade when i saw that no one in my life cared about me.
now i sit here on a pc thinking what do i do next and i tell myself get the word out and maybe you'll see that there are people who care. yet in the end i know the next time i attempt suicide it will be my last.
so where does this leave me. in a small room i call home where i sit at my bed with a knife thinking should i do it now or later, wondering is this the last thing ill do before i die? and that is the truth.
sometimes i think back wonder if i killed myself back then when i first tried to kill myself would life be better and i this odd feeling of yes it would of been. now i wonder if that is true now if i ended my life now could i save other the people of the pain of dealing with me.
although i talk to people and make friends easy i dont feel like i have much choice. anytime i talk to someone about myself and if i tell them i feel suicidal i get this odd feeling of they could care anyless.
so i do what i can to stay alive and i think to myself yes their are a few people out there that care but when it comes down to it these are the same few people that helped but me into this state of constant despaire and lonelyness odly enough. the same people i called friends in elemntry school are the same ones that made me feel like killing myself. and although i never told this ever, during my fith grade camp i almost walked out into the forest to kill myself and that was the third time i had contiously considerd the thought of killing myself then and there. the first being in the fourth grade when i saw that no one in my life cared about me.
now i sit here on a pc thinking what do i do next and i tell myself get the word out and maybe you'll see that there are people who care. yet in the end i know the next time i attempt suicide it will be my last.
so where does this leave me. in a small room i call home where i sit at my bed with a knife thinking should i do it now or later, wondering is this the last thing ill do before i die? and that is the truth.
hlep
that is true i feel the same way even with my family my mom and dad has never been there for me
deleted_user
you may not know it, but someone somewhere does love you. and someone else does respect you. i don't even kno you, yet i respect that you tell the truth. i believe that God has a plan for everyone. and no, i'm not one of those religious people who want to push their faith onto others. and i also try not to be a hypocrite, as i cut and sin a lot too. you can email or message me if you need/want to.
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