I urge you to please tell someone, tell a friend, or just someone you trust, and I know you might not want to go to the police but it is important that you do so that it doesn't happen to someone else. I know it is hard to stop hurting yourself but I suggest to do something that will keep your mind from hurting yourself. Try arts and crafts (i make pop up cards and just started origami) its fun. Play a game on your phone or game system (if you have one), start a journal (it could be something you write in or download an app), I have one and it has helped me these last few days. I hope things go well for you, and I hope those suggestions help a little bit.

If this "friend" is the same age as your boyfriend, then you need to go to the Police and have charges filed against him for sexual assault and/or rape, depending on how far this went. You need to tell your parents abut what happend so that they can get you help to deal with this and all the feelings that it is and will continue to evoke. I'm sure your boyfriend is being helpful in his own way, but hun he's not equipped to deal with this type of abuse and violent invasion of your body and soul. Your parents can get you to a therapist so that you can process whats happened to you and work through it....otherwise it will most likely plague you for many, many years to come. And that's not even addressing your need to harm yourself. When negative feelings aren't dealt with the self injury cravings just get stronger and stronger. Please let an adult help you through this. Until you can do that, Journaling and writing all the thoughts and memories down in a notebook to get them out of your head can help some. Please stay safe and please tell an adult, i.e. a parent, teacher, counselor, police officer, someone what's happened so that you can begin to work through these feelings, before they take over and you can't keep them at bay. I am so very sorry that this happened to you.

Thank you both that helped a lot. The problem with the whole therapist thing is my dad doesn't exactly believe in mental health. I talk to my boyfriend about everything, he is sort of my journal. I feel bad for telling him everything and making him worry but I guess in a relationship you don't keep secrets. When I first met him I told him I'd never ever lie to him. I guess so I tell him everything and he keeps records in his head of what I have said.

If you have a Counselor a School you can talk to them. Ask them hypothetically what their Ethical Boundaries are when it comes to reporting Sexual Abuse? If they have to follow the same 'Privileged Conversation' Rule that other Therapists do, then you can talk to them about that happened and they can't tell your parents without your permission. You really need more help with this than just your boyfriend.

Hi OlderCPer, I am not able to see a school counselor as they have to tell your parents about depression, sexual abuse, self harm etc. I should get more help with what I am going through but for me as a person it isn't easy to gain access to mental health doctors. I feel bad for putting the weight on my boyfriends shoulders but he's gone through similar situations. He's the most supportive person I have in my life at the moment to talk to these particular things about. I have tried web chats on sites like Kids Helpline but that isn't completely helpful either. I think it's something I have to battle alone. And it sucks.