Self-Injury Support Group
Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.
I don't think I can do this anymore....I spend so much energy on trying that I'm exhausted...I can't keep hurting myself off of my mind...I wanna bleed so badly...I know that when I get off of here I will...but then I add to it because someone always ends up finding out and my parents get upset so I feel guilty...I can't go back to the hospital because I just spent over a month there. They can't afford it, and I don't want to be put in a long term hospital. Me and my girlfriend are going downhill. I love her but I don't know if I love her anymore. I can't picture my life without her but I feel like our relationship is going cold...I don't know what to do. Life just sucks. Everything in the world is not worth anything. There is no positive shit. All it is is worrying and stress and I'm not even an adult yet. All I here adults talking about is complaining about life. That really makes my future look bright to me...I just want everything to end...I don't know what to do...I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I feel trapped at home, I feel like an outsider at school, and I feel like I am watching the world from a glass dome...I feel detached from everything...
If you're feeling this badly, I would really encourage you to tell someone... a parent, doctor, etc. I've been in and out of the hospital too many times to count, but the one that mattered most, the one that actually helped was when I went to residential. I'd done inpatient and partial several times to no avail (aka, still cutting, attempting suicide, ritualizing, having panic attacks upwards of six times a day, etc.), so I went to Rogers (http://www.rogershospital.org/monroe/). I went to the Oconomowoc campus, and it was the best time I've ever had... and I was in a hospital. After the initial period, I started to do SO WELL. I improved so much, went almost 200 days without cutting after leaving, greatly decreased my depression/OCD/panic, etc.
I firmly believe that the only reason I relapsed is because I had to leave early due to a death in the family. If you can consider it, I would so highly recommend it. Look at any of the Rogers Memorial Hospital groups on facebook and you'll see how immensely it impacted all of us.
I can feel how badly you're hurting, and I hope and pray that you will do everything you can to stop, and that your parents/caretakers will do the same. I don't know you personally, but I know that you don't deserve to feel this way. You deserve to get better, you deserve to see that there is happiness in the world, there ARE good things. As hard as it is to fight through the (massive amounts of) shit, you have to keep fighting, and fight like hell. Because one day, even if it seems impossible now, you'll make it to the other side.
Please, please, message/chat me whenever you want. I am here for you, and I have faith in you. Consider a residential hospital - if you go to the right one it could literally turn your life around, for good. Most of my Rogers friends are in recovery and have been since they "graduated" from residential. I'm on my way there, too. Today marks a week cut free, and 216 days since my last (serious) suicide attempt.
You can do this. Huge hugs.
I am here if you need to talk.
hugs