About six months ago I relapsed back into depression. Three weeks ago I relapsed even further after my cat disappeared and I haven't seen him since. I can feel this sickness in me. My stomach is always in knots and it's got to the stage where I barely eat, and I've stopped taking all my meds because of my mum's reaction to how I was when I was put on an anti-psychotic. I suffer from major depression and anxiety but the doctor thought to get me through this very difficult time that it was best to put me on something extreme as a major tranquilizer because I was self abusing with minor tranquilizers and he just wants me off them. The major tranquilizers helped. I just slept all the time, but I had trouble with my coordination, which I figure was just my brain getting use to a new medication. So I wasn't too worried. But mum freaked out and told me I was like a drunk and she didn't want to even look at my face. So I stopped taking them, and all of my other meds. Now I'm on nothing and the urge to hurt myself is worsening. Last night I wanted to break my arm. I hit myself repeatedly with hard objects like torches, brushes, anything really. I don't know what to do. I'm spiralling out of control and I have zero support at home. And I don't know how I'm going to manage over the weekend because I have nowhere to escape to, and I hide everything related to my illness so well. I've become a master of disguise in response to that. I just don't know what to do anymore. I know I'm going to end up in the hospital ward with a broken arm, or slashed arms... What is it with the arms? I have no coping mechanisms. I have lots of appointments with different counsellors for my depression, my anxiety, and the fact I was sexually molested as a child by my father. But they haven't had time to focus on coping strategies yet. How do you keep out the demons? What can I do to stay stronger than them and one step ahead? I'm really scared... Should I go back to Mental Health?