It's been a really long time since I've acted on my urges. I'm used to the thoughts coming up when I'm having a hard time, but I'm usually able to cope better than I have been lately. Idk if it's because I'm going through a lot lately or because I'm feeling more isolated. Not just because of the pandemic, but because I've had several relationships with people I was close to strain or end in a short amount of time. My support system is shrinking. I've been finding it difficult to care about very much of anything. When I feel this low it's harder not to want to feel something. Anything. I'm just tired of feeling so out of control. I know i will get through it and that self-harm won't help me do it faster, that I will feel worse, but still, it's getting hard to keep telling myself that when nothing else seems to be helping either.