Self-Injury Support Group

Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.

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Calling all parents?

jellybeanmusic
jellybeanmusic
Do you plan on telling your children about your self harm?
How will you explain it to them so it's age appropriate?
Will you allow them to see your scars or will you cover up?

As my daughter gets older I wonder about these things. She's only 4 months old but they grow up so fast. I've been self harming for 8 years now and continue to do so on rare occasions so I'm lost on how to confront the issue when she starts becoming aware of the scars.
deleted_user
deleted_user
No.

I have an "urge" to tell them. But I think that would be unfair to them. Too much stress for them. I do not want them worrying and wondering if dad is gonna kill himself.

I just want them to be kids.

So I hide all my cuts.
shannen16
shannen16
no don't ever tell them ...
I have a 4 year old he sees my scars but he don't ask me and am pregnant again but I would never tell him because they might think well if mummy can do it so can I its alright if you get me the best thing you could do its tell them its just from a accident and that's that x
musicchickie
musicchickie
Honestly, I would tell them at a very young age. Old enough to understand what you do, but young enough that if you tell them enough times not to do it, they will listen and believe you. Kinda like if you're a homophobic and you don't want your kid to associate with homosexuals, you start telling that at a young age that homosexuals are bad, and they will believe you. If you tell your child at a young age that cutting is bad, then they will believe you. I don't know how much that helps.
gatheredfragments
gatheredfragments
I have 4 kids and my oldest is eleven, she is aware that I cut . I tried to hide it from her for a very long time but in the natural way kids are they are naturally inquisitive at a certain age they wonder why you where long sleeves in summer, or what your doing in the bathroom (I'm not sure about anyone else but when she hit a certain age her curiosity peaked and she HAD to be where I was and investigate what I was doing 125% of the time luckily it was only a phase) So in a way I'm not sure if its possible to hide it for a long time (at least if your a stay at home mom)
So I told her endlessly that it was a mistake or the cat did it and so on. That is, untell it was pulling up my sleeves and displaying to the clerk at Walmart 'look what my cat buttercup did to my mom' or 'look what happened on accident'
So I just told her when she reached a certain age and I knew she would be able to understand a little bit of it. Although I do know that it made her sad and she was taken aback at first I also feel as though it taught her that people are all different and shouldn't be judged for it. She's probably the most caring and empathetic child on the planet.
I don't worry that because I cut and she knows she will cut one day because we communicate even about the hard things. And I think if in the future she will have the strength to come to me if she does cut
They will find out one day anyway most likely.

Avarie