Self-Injury Support Group

Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.

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Broken-and-lost
Broken-and-lost

i havent cut myself since january. I use to all the time when i was younger. At times it was a everyday thing. Ive tried killing myself. Everything in july changed. i lost my husband of 7yrs along with 7 other family memebers. Almost lost my 6yr son. i really badly want to cut. i miss the way it made me felt. i miss dragging the blade across my arms. im afraid ill start with one cut and i wont stop till its too late. then where would my son go? to family thats strung out on drugs or foster care? at times i dont think i can stick around for my son. or mayb take him with me. i dont know anymore. the way ive been feeling in the last few days i dont trust myself alone with any sharp object. i have no one to stop me for the first time in along time. im on my own, alone, no family left that i trust, and friends that are too busy and dont understand.

OlderCPer
OlderCPer
If you seriously have feelings that you might "take your son with you" you need to call 911 or take yourself to the nearest emergency room and get the help you need. Having suicidal feelings is one thing, having homicidal feelings towards your child is a whole different thing. If you can't do the right thing and get help, then you need to at least take your son to stay with someone, where he is safe until you get through this crisis.
oliver87
oliver87
I think firstly you need to think that you actually don't want to do this as you are posting on here. Perhaps write down what you really want.and think about grief counseling as you have clearly been through a lot. You know in your head that you can't do this to your son. You love him way too much. I can understand the thought of taking him with you but although others might not agree i feel it's maybe just a fleeting thought- am i right? Not any plans? Just lots of scary uncontrolled thoughts going round in your head? Terrible advice but do not mention that to anyone unless you are actively planning it as they will take him off you and i think that would be extremely bad for you. Start with grief counseling- go to doctor and say you are really not coping right now. You need something now. Try getting help it's worth a try is it not.?
Broken-and-lost
Broken-and-lost
doing what im thinking and actually doing it different thing. i was just saying how i feel. i wouldn't hurt my son. im just in a dark place. i've called a shrink waiting on a call back tomorrow.
OlderCPer
OlderCPer
you'd be surprised how quickly thoughts in that dark place can turn to actions when you feel like there is no other way out....

I'm really, really glad that you've called a Pdoc, I hope they're able to see you soon and that they are able to help you find some peace, because I know that where you are is not peaceful and just a little too close to hell. I truly hope that you find some peace and are able to get to a place where there are better thoughts to fill your mind....
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