Self-Injury Support Group

Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.

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AHHHHHHHHHH WHY

CrimsonTears
CrimsonTears
why? why cant i quit i want to more than anything but everytime i panic or get upset its the first thing that comes to mind. when i watch a movie n something sad happens i wonder why they dont cut. how messed up is that????? im so pissed off at myself for cutting last night and i went pretty deep too seeing that its over 24 hours and its still open a little... i dont get myself why cant i have normal friendships and not treat my friends like therapists. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i cant do this anymore i cant live like this anymore i need to quit or i need to just make the next cut final not stop myself when i know i am getting too deep not stop the blood. i cant do it on my own anymore its so exhausting trying to live like im ok but inside worry about anyone upsetting me and making the timebomb inside me go off.... I GIVE UP
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know how you feel. Truth be told, the only thing that is keeping me going is knowing for sure that I would end up in Hell if I ended it all.

I don't understand why I can't stop, why half the time I don't even want to stop. I mean, its got to be messed up, so why can't I? I too use my friend as a therpist and I feel so bad for him because he shouldn't have to deal with it.

I am not sure what to tell you, just know that you are not alone. I don't know what will happen next. All I know is that we have to keep hanging on, one hour at a time, even sometimes one minute at a time.
CrimsonTears
CrimsonTears
Wish I had the courage my cousin did n just end my life but he was soooo much braver than me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think its braver to continue facing the pain and not giving up. Not to dis what your cousin did, but recently there was a suicide that my mom had to do the bullentin for (she works for the church the 15 year old went to). I think what the pastor told her is right. By killing yourself, you are giving up on God and are refusing to continue trying to be strong by living.

I know how hard it is. Sometimes (ok, basically, daily) I ask, pray and hope to God that today will be my last day. But when my last day should be up to Him, not me since I didn't put me here. I didn't have a choice coming into this world, why should I have one coming out?

Maybe try looking at it that way. I know how so very tempting it is. Trust me right now, I am fighting the urge to just make that final cut too, but I am hoping that you will stick around with me and continue fighting.
CrimsonTears
CrimsonTears
Do u realizes how controlled that is though if we have no choice even about whether or not to stay alive how is it that god says he gave us freedom of choice? And if god loves me and wants me to live a happy life why didn't he protect me all those years I begged and pleaded for him? Why did he allow a family member I trusted to take my inocense and keep hurting me daily? I hear about god sending angles that keep attackers away from others so why not me? Why wasn't I good enough? People tell me to trust god, to know he won't let some1 hurt me and I wanna laugh cuz he already did. Yes he doesn't take freedom of choice away but he couldve sent something to protect me. If I wasn't good enough to protect then why should I care if ending my life gives up on him? He gave me up first