for me it's about my future. i want to do good in the world, help people. i can't help others if im sick like this, so i have to help myself first. i don't know if that helps you, but that's my reason. i sincerely hope you find a reason of your own.

I too dont want to continue this lifestyle. I dont want me to cut everytime that something comes up I want to deal with it and move on. Life is waiting on me to get better so I can enjoy it. and that is good enough for me. What I have learned thru addiction after addiction is it is how you deal with life when it happens. I have learned new coping skills to use when things just seem to go wrong. I have also cut to create chaos and to keep my ex around. but in the end I was only killing myself and today finally after 26 years I want to live

Sorry to hear about your disappointment :(

I stopped cutting a couple of years ago and although in several ocassions I had people who cared try to make me stop for them, the one thing that DID make me stop was something I read in a forum long ago.

Every time I wanted to hurt myself I took a few moments to look at the situation from an outside perspective: "I am feeling _____ because _____, and the reason I want to harm myself is _______" and then, ask myself if I deserved to be in more pain - the answer is always NO.

Sometimes you might still feel the need to go through with it, in those cases I would go ahead and follow my little ritual, but when the moment where I would cut came, I would just not do it and continue with the after-injury ritual. (washing myself, putting things away, lie down for a bit)

It all comes down to learning to cope in new ways and understanding (because one might know or believe but you need both to actually accept something as true) that you deserve to be loved and cherished, and not hurt by anyone, specially not yourself. Many hugs your way dear.

My immediate thought in response to your questions was: I dont want to cut because I dont want to be hospitalized in another psychiatric ward. Another reason for me is that I want to be open and honest with all of my support people. Everytime I cut myself, it's' like I cut my mom, my best friend, my boyfriend, friend, etc... I wnt to get better to assure everyone that I'm ok and that I can cope on my own.

I stopped cutting for my oldest daughter. she asked me when she was like 7 not to do it anymore. she's going on ten now. Yes I've had a few bad bouts where I still cut but it's not as much as before. I think of her and how it hurts her to see me like that, and it helps me get through the times I really want to, which can be quite often.

I'm sorry that he let you down. :-(

I've tried stopping for other people before, too. It never works. I had one guy walk out on me, and the other pressured me so much that I just hid it because I was afraid to let him know I slipped.

I figured out that if I'm going to stop, it's going to have to be for me. Part of me is with halfwoven on this one... I have things I want to do. I want to make a difference, and I can't if I'm so wrapped up in this sickness.

I've also been worrying about the scars a lot lately. I like to think that I'm going to meet an amazing guy someday, and I want to be beautiful and whole for him. Or at least as much as I can be, which means trying to stop today.

Plus, I SI to feel in control most of the time, but I've realized it's just controlling me. That's not what I wanted, and there's no way I'm going to let it win. I hope you find your own reasons... I know it's so hard to stop when you can't. *HUGS*