Self-Injury Support Group

Whether you or someone you know or love struggles with self-injury, this is the community to discuss your experience, find support, meet others going through the same, and get advice on how to stop. Working together, we can help find alternative coping skills to reduce the urge to self-harm.

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Please Help me

brittanycubs
brittanycubs
So today is christmas. It is also my birthday. Most people would say it is a blessing but I think it is a curse. Beofre my birthday I spent 10 wonderful days in Puerto Rico visiting friends and really enjoying myself. I haven't seen that kind of happiness from me in a while. Well the trip ended and every christmas eve my whole family gets together. It was very difficult to see all the adults laughing about what the little children and baby were doing but every time i started a conversation no one seemed interested in actually talk with me. And my little cousin was the only one who on her own wished me a happy birthday. I don't care about presents or any of that. Just to know that my family remembers me is all i was looking for and until i ran into the bathroom in tears it seemed like i was going home with only that one happy birthday from my cousin. When my mom made my aunt aware of what was going on they quickly stuck candles in a dessert i was allergic to to sing happy birthday. And then... only then did i get a couple people say it to me afterwards. The holidays have always been rough for me but it seems like it just gets worse every year. What I am asking here is for some advice. Am I wrong for wanting this? Am I wrong fro being upset? Should I hold up a big sign next year that says "PLEASE JUST WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!?" I lost count how many times I broke down yesterday and today. Maybe I should just forget my birthday because it seems like that's what everyone else wants. If anyone reads this... which I doubt please help me! I have already been cutting today and I am spinning out of control!!
worldofblah4
worldofblah4
I am really sorry about all of that. Know that we care about you and feel free to post any time. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
paddjo95
paddjo95
Hey lil Ms. Brittany. I know this advice is a couple hours late, but here it is nonetheless :)
Within the next couple days, make it fairly clear to your family that this bothers you. Make it clear that it really hurts you when you feel like you're being ignored. Having a birthday on a major holiday, especially an over commercialized one like Christmas, can be very difficult because people tend to get so wrapped up in all the festivities, presents and such that they forget about the actual people.
Don't be rude when bringing this up, just sit your parents down and talk about it. 98% of the time, they'll listen. Someone clearly saw you were hurt, so it's not gone completely unnoticed.
Stay strong, mon amie and happy birthday. :)
-Joseph
DreamWeaver101
DreamWeaver101
I'm sorry about the late wishes but here they are all the same: Happy Birthday!! I'm not really a family person, but I can imagine that what happened to you would upset anyone. I don't think I can help very much with the way you're feeling, but as a recovering cutter, I can tell you that it isn't worth cutting... For anything. I know that what happened made you upset, and I'm sorry about that. But don't let someone else's lack of consideration cause you to hurt yourself. You're worth more than that.
brittanycubs
brittanycubs
Thank you all for the kind words. I am still trying to mentally recover from everything that happened this Christmas. My biggest problem right now is feeling like I don't belong. Unfortunately I became so upset that I did cut. I couldn't stop myself. I tried just about everything but nothing seemed to numb the emotional pain I was feeling. I start new therapy soon. I will be sure to talk to that new person soon. Thank you all for the support it has helped restore my faith that there are people in this world who actually care. If any of you need help as well don't be afraid to message me. Again Many Thanks.
recovering84
recovering84
Hi! I'm sorry that you are going through this. My brother once told me after a fight between my dad and I that family are the ones that would most likely hurt you. And it's true but in a they're our family and in a weird way they love us (maybe or maybe not ). There could be a few reasons that they didn't wish you a happy birthday right away. You're not wrong for being upset; you have every right. What I learned from family treating me like crap is to learn how to make myself happy. There's a movie called THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. If you haven't seen it you have to. It will empower you and help you focus on yourself than others. Especially those that don't appreciate you. Find WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO OUTSIDE STRESSORS even though they can really hurt especially your birthday situation. As for your cutting try crying it out it always helped for me. Also HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! :-)