I feel the same way. Even though its been months since I SI, it is getting harder and harder not to do it. What you described is exactly what keeps running through my mind.

Sweetie you don't have to be sorry, SI is an addiction and can be really hard to break you don't need to feel sorry for that.
You've done so so well not to harm so congratulate yourself, try to find something to take your mind off it when you feel the urge, I know its probably easy for me to say, I've been SI on and off for a while and recently did it quite a few times in a row and ended up in alot of pain.
I know it must be really hard for you and for shontew, I can support you in any way I can.
Big hugs to you hunni xx

sometimes feel it would be easier just to give in or give up

I know it does feel like that sometimes I really wanted to do it the other day but I forced myself not too, I guess its a tough road to follow but I really hope you can resist the urge, please feel free to message me anytime, I can support you if you need, lots of hugs to you xx

no one can help anymore,noone.must face the facts, that once you have harmed one day you will harm again...

I know I often feel the same way. It sucks. It's a constnat fight and sometimes you win sometimes you lose but it never ends.

I don't think that makes you hypocritical at all. It's an addiction it doesn't go away. You don't need to be sorry. It's the reason why were here. Why we have this group so we can help each other through this.

I don't have any good reasons for fighting it right now. just want to send you big hugs, depsite how it seems never end, there are times when it will be better all you have to do is wait for them.