Hiya Strength. I suppose the "walls" you mean the stigma and rejection by others for being mentally ill. I was lucky in the work dept. as I covered up my three years getting off the street and in treatmetn by saying i was working as a waiter trying to write...most employers accepted that as okay. I was starting out entry level office work and was fortunate to work for non-profits who were understanding about a couple of relapses and hospitalizations (church they were) and my last job for 12 years in a drug rehab place and by then I had the Family and Medical Leave Act to help and once on Fed, Disability. Socially most women don't want anything to do with me if I am upfront with it....my plan now is to wait to see what develops and then reveal my illness.....I have a few online individual friends and one longtime friend who is a recovering alcoholic..and they all know...all of this is great but I'm missing a romantic interest..I have a first coffee date coming up (after 15 years of hibernating) and will most likely NOT saying anything then...I've even had therapists reject me for being upfront about my illness. I tell you it is miserable knowing people and keeping it a secret. It makes the relationship much more shallow and taxing..there is an ease and deeper quality relating to people who know.....MaxH

There is an online "dating" and social site = www.nolongerlonely.com for the mentally ill. I've made some pen pals there but no one in person.. agonizing...sorry

Have you tried to go to mental health support groups? They help with socializing and other stuff.

You could look up your local NAMI.org group and attend a meeting to help you get back into socializing.

good answers

you have to learn to be in balance... live with your condition but dont let it take over. to socilize you need to be able to acsept your mental helth and use it to your advantige...go out on a good day.. learn confadence by going out with some one you trust who knows your condition and can help you if needed... baby steps are most importent..dont try and go too fast. NOT everyday is a good day!!

hope this helps
-tab

Thnx for alll your post. By walls i really mean not being able to work or socialize. Like you just dont have the ability.

Hi Strength...I couldn't work now either at this point in my life...I was glad to get laid off adn collect unemployment. Next week is my last week on unemployment. Even the looking for jobs on the internet, as is required, was almost too stressful..I have a first coffee date today and am very nervous...but I am headed back to the senior center for SOME sociallazation....what are you doing now about socializing?

The socializing comes in waves. Sometimes i cant sometimes i can, and some times staying connected to people adds anxiety on top of anxiety. Sometimes my brain just cant support itself, and i cant sit there and talk to people about having trouble socializing with them at that moment. That would be the most honest thing to talk about but it wouldnt make sense. Mostly with me it is just work. I get stressed out when i dont have money. Anybody who has a problem with me getting a disability check from the goverment can gladly have it if they take my schizo with it, heck ill even throw in some foodstamps.

HIya Strength,
Yeah, there are times socializing when you just have to walk away for a moment or a while and then get back to it later...feast or famine has been my experience usually too about being with people..If it gets to be too much with someone, you can always say you need a break or a breather. But I guess it depends on who they are to you adn how much you trust them..money drives me up the wall..I often make a new budget three or four times a day....having been homeless has oversensitized me to it, but on the other hand I am determined not ever to be in that situation again..Hang in there...

I screwed up big time professionally, and one of the problems I have is going to work. I don't know if it's the meds or depression, but it's hard getting up in the morning. It's not so bad an hour or so after I'm there and my new job is filled with nice people compared to my last job. So sometimes it's a change in scenery and sometimes it's a "just get up" motivation. It wasn't easy though and it took a long time.

But you got to work in the end. Congratulations !! On what used to be "Secretary's Day" a group of them were asked what was the hardest part of the job..they all said, "getting up in the morning." So you're in good company.

Thanks!

i totally understand about walls, i have no friends "in real life " right now..and i dont work/cant find something i could do- i just got ssi disability after 22 years with a diagnosis, bankruptcy and going without.

That's rough Chanel09 ! "virtual" friends like here are very important to me....yet I am making more efforts to have "in-person" friendships..any that I've had successfully were partially due to their knowing about my illness.....it is destructive to relationships going anywhere if I am hiding my illness..