Hello, I am writing to let my friends and fellow members, know how I have been doing these last few months.I can't begin to describe how much, I have truly missed writing and hearing from everyone. Hope you all had a happy holiday season and a wonderful new year so far. I went with my parents and brother to my uncle Curt and aunt Linda's house for Thanksgiving. The last time I saw them, was in 2007. Yes, it had been a very long time. I have two cousins, Adam and Paul. Adam had recently graduated in June,2012 from Washington State University. He recently accepted a job in security at the social security office in Bellevue, WA. His goal is to get in the field of becoming a policeman. Adam was not there for Thanksgiving, he was spending it with his girlfriend in Pullman, Washington. Paul was home for a couple days and got to see him on Thanksgiving. He has been studying at Washington State University and has changed his major a couple of times and is currently in the communication field. I was feeling uncomfortable at first, but was glad, they didn't ask, what I've been doing, these last few years, why I act differently, since I have been diagnosed with Schizophrenia and that I didn't have to explain about my Schizophrenia. They seemed to be pleasant. So, it was fun, though I felt, I should of talked more. I had a quiet christmas with my parents and brother. On christmas day, my mothers cousin, Kevin came over to our house for christmas day supper and had a goodtime. New years eve and day, I spent with my parents and brother. Watched fireworks, had some champagne to toast to a healthy and happy 2013.

My life has been busy and stressful. As of late, my Schizophrenia symptoms have been exasperating and anxiety provoking. I have been hearing alot of voices. The voices have been talking, telling me to kill or hurt myself(suicidal thoughts), me to kill other people or that other people will kill me.The voices truly frighten me and are horrifying.These voices are really loud off and on through the day. I hear the voices, but I do not listen to the voices. I hear these voices during the day and most often at night, when I am alone. I have trouble sleeping at night, I can fall asleep, it's just that I wake up at different times i the night with the voices and thoughts racing through my mind, where it takes me awhile to fall asleep again. During the day and night, I sometimes have crying spells for the voices, cause me to feel bad about myself. The voices as well as my occassional visual hallucinations are accompanied by feelings of being tired, can't concentrate,anxiety, crying spells and sadness.


I am still taking Saphris. Lately, it seems to not be helping or making a difference for me. I am seeing my caseworker on January 15th. I see my psychiatrist next week on January 16th. I hope I get my medication straightened out and am hoping for a different anxiety med and see what he wants to do with the Saphris. I have seen and my parents have seen, that I am making more jerky, jumpy, shaky involutary movements.

I am hoping that I start feeling better soon, because I am very much hoping that I don't end up in the hospital again. I just desire to have a better and more positive rest of January. I am looking forward to having a good rest of the year. Keep me in your thoughts.Have a warm and happy Winter.

Take care,

Silkroad