Schizophrenia Support Group
Schizophrenia is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a mental disorder characterized by impairments in the perception of reality and by significant social dysfunction. Untreated schizophrenia is typically characterized by demonstrating disorganized thinking and experiencing delusions or auditory hallucinations.
Hello, this last month of September and almost 2 weeks into October has been difficult and my Schizophrenia has been quite bad. I have been delusional yet I have had 2 to 4 different visual/auditory hallucinations all of September and so far this October. September was tough month for just not my schizophrenia symptoms but also because one of family's cats Spice who is an indoor/outdoor cat got chased and killed by coyotes, early morning, September 18th. Me and my family have been heartbroken by her loss. She was a 11 going on 12 years.She was born in either late september, early October. Spice was a very, loving, comforting, talkative cat. She brought laughter and joy. She will forever be in my family's hearts.
When it comes to delusions I've been having one reccuring delusion that is a fantasy about an American League, Major League Baseball Team in Washington State called the Seattle Mariners. In the fantasy the team owns throughbred horses. The general manager. manager and the players each have two horses, a stallion and a mare.The other AL and NL Teams also have horses. The Mariners horses compete against opposing teams horses in horse racing and English Riding competitions like showmanship-riding around an arena, horses walking, troting,canter and galloping; showjumping, Equatation-jumping, going over or around poles and manuvering around different obstacles., Cross Country,Endurance Riding, Show in Hand- A show judging beauty, confirmation and breeding, mounted games-bending race,flag race, sack race. The horses are also breeding horses. The mares have have one pregnancy a year, a new foal or foals each year. (colt or filly).
Then there is a tradition, where at each baseball game, where the Mariners and the opposing team parade their horses in fancy, decorated saddles,blankets and bridles around Safeco Field or opposing teams field, before the game starts. Each year, I name the general manager's horses, managers horses and the new players horses as well as the players horses who have been there for a year or more. The foals also have names. Each horse is named once and keeps that name for the rest of their lives. I have a mare named Shimmeree who's bred with a past players stallion, has a new interest in a new players stallion.I think about the horses body colors,
what they look like. I started having the horse fantasy in 2001, when the Mariners won 116 games, a absoutely glorious season and were the AL Division Champions. That's the season, I developed an interest an baseball and have been a fan since then. Back in 2001, the fantasy was not as strong as it is today. It had developed slowly. This was a long time, 7 years before I started having symptoms of Schizophrenia in Fall 2008. The important thing is that I know it isnot real. Sometimes my mind is so clouded into the fantasy, it feels like it's truly real, though I again know that in my logical mind is not real and never will be. I have no idea if anyone on the Mariners owns horses, but that's not important. Lastly, I don't understand why I can't stop thinking about, the fantasy and why, I can't get rid of it, once and for all.
There have been between 2 and 4 hallucinations in all of September
and so far in October. I can only remember two of them very clearly. The first was a visual hallucination at night in my bedroom, where I saw these bright flashing white lights, spinning around in a circle, before falling asleep. I remember having a headache before,during and after the hallucination. It only lasted one to two minutes then dissappeared and went away. It really frightened me and was quite strange. The second hallucination happaned yesterday at the hair/beauty salon, me and my mother go to. I was getting up from one dryer chair and sitting down in the one next to it. During the time I got up and sat down, I was seeing white spots all around me, flowing downwards and dissappearing into the floor. This has happaned before and it is accompanied with feeling sort of dizzy and off balance. It makes me feel really wierd when it occurs. Sometimes hear voices talking in my head, yet sound like their right in front of me. Sometimes the voices call out names of people, some real, others not. Anyways, I find it irritating though I know voices are just part of schizophrenia.
For medication I am still taking Fanapt and Congentin. My psychiatrist has upped the med to 16 mg and I'm still on 0.5mg Congentin. I have had my good days and bad days. I 've only had one
really good day, this week which was Tuesday. The day program is a last resort, for my psychiatrist thinks he'll be able to pull me out of my schizophrenia symptoms, that he'll get my schizophrenia under control, so I can function at a close to normal level. I hope the rest of this October, I will be feeling better.
Take Care,
Silkroad
When it comes to delusions I've been having one reccuring delusion that is a fantasy about an American League, Major League Baseball Team in Washington State called the Seattle Mariners. In the fantasy the team owns throughbred horses. The general manager. manager and the players each have two horses, a stallion and a mare.The other AL and NL Teams also have horses. The Mariners horses compete against opposing teams horses in horse racing and English Riding competitions like showmanship-riding around an arena, horses walking, troting,canter and galloping; showjumping, Equatation-jumping, going over or around poles and manuvering around different obstacles., Cross Country,Endurance Riding, Show in Hand- A show judging beauty, confirmation and breeding, mounted games-bending race,flag race, sack race. The horses are also breeding horses. The mares have have one pregnancy a year, a new foal or foals each year. (colt or filly).
Then there is a tradition, where at each baseball game, where the Mariners and the opposing team parade their horses in fancy, decorated saddles,blankets and bridles around Safeco Field or opposing teams field, before the game starts. Each year, I name the general manager's horses, managers horses and the new players horses as well as the players horses who have been there for a year or more. The foals also have names. Each horse is named once and keeps that name for the rest of their lives. I have a mare named Shimmeree who's bred with a past players stallion, has a new interest in a new players stallion.I think about the horses body colors,
what they look like. I started having the horse fantasy in 2001, when the Mariners won 116 games, a absoutely glorious season and were the AL Division Champions. That's the season, I developed an interest an baseball and have been a fan since then. Back in 2001, the fantasy was not as strong as it is today. It had developed slowly. This was a long time, 7 years before I started having symptoms of Schizophrenia in Fall 2008. The important thing is that I know it isnot real. Sometimes my mind is so clouded into the fantasy, it feels like it's truly real, though I again know that in my logical mind is not real and never will be. I have no idea if anyone on the Mariners owns horses, but that's not important. Lastly, I don't understand why I can't stop thinking about, the fantasy and why, I can't get rid of it, once and for all.
There have been between 2 and 4 hallucinations in all of September
and so far in October. I can only remember two of them very clearly. The first was a visual hallucination at night in my bedroom, where I saw these bright flashing white lights, spinning around in a circle, before falling asleep. I remember having a headache before,during and after the hallucination. It only lasted one to two minutes then dissappeared and went away. It really frightened me and was quite strange. The second hallucination happaned yesterday at the hair/beauty salon, me and my mother go to. I was getting up from one dryer chair and sitting down in the one next to it. During the time I got up and sat down, I was seeing white spots all around me, flowing downwards and dissappearing into the floor. This has happaned before and it is accompanied with feeling sort of dizzy and off balance. It makes me feel really wierd when it occurs. Sometimes hear voices talking in my head, yet sound like their right in front of me. Sometimes the voices call out names of people, some real, others not. Anyways, I find it irritating though I know voices are just part of schizophrenia.
For medication I am still taking Fanapt and Congentin. My psychiatrist has upped the med to 16 mg and I'm still on 0.5mg Congentin. I have had my good days and bad days. I 've only had one
really good day, this week which was Tuesday. The day program is a last resort, for my psychiatrist thinks he'll be able to pull me out of my schizophrenia symptoms, that he'll get my schizophrenia under control, so I can function at a close to normal level. I hope the rest of this October, I will be feeling better.
Take Care,
Silkroad
Apart from the cat. I am really sorry for you loss of the cat. But the debate for indoor/outdoor is a very old one. They can live for about 5-10 years longer if there allowed outside but the dangers are far greater to get an old age. To compromise I decided I wont get another cat unless I have a cat run, cat enclosure etc.
lost my cat Gracie not more than a month ago lived 11 years. still miss her, know exactly what you are going thru there. hugz