Hello, I am writing to say this last month of July and beginning of August has not been good. I had some very strange hallucinations. I also had a wierd delusion I prefer not to talk about. The hallucinations were both auditory and visual, mainly auditory. The hallucination I remember most was a visual one. I remember it happening before I fell asleep, seeing colored lights and shapes above me floating in the middle of space. It felt wierd, but not unpleasant. Another visual hallucination, I can think of is seeing the ladder on my dad's work van when is work van is not there. Then there's seeing white lights in the bathroom, racing downwards and all around me till they dissappear. Lastly, just today, I thought I was seeing flashing lights on the stovetop control board,coming from outside the front door, when I went to the front door and looked out the doors side windows, I did not see the flashing lights anymore, nothing was really there. As for the auditory hallucinations/voices in the last two weeks of July: I've had more auditory hallucinations than in quite awhile. The auditory voices/hallucinations tell me to kill myself, basically commit suicide. I yell back at the voice and tell it to no, go away, that's not true, respect life itself and basically think of the positive and good things in my life. Even though, I still have a part of my mind that says it's not worth it, just give up and kill myself. Despite, this I refuse to listen and have never acted on these voices. These voices frighten me and I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes, it's horrible. As far as Med's , I started the month of July on 400mg of Seroquel. Seroquel was not working for me. In the middle of July, my psychiatrist, had me slowly stop taking the 400mg of Seroquel. I was very daydreamy, and would stare off into space, losing touch with reality. He changed my med to 1mg of Haldol otherwise known as Halperidol. I just went up to 2mg of Haldol last week. So, far I am having alot of trouble with the Haldol. I've been feeling sleepy, sad, quite depressed. I've also had headaches as well as shaky, stiff muscles. I have tried the 1mg of Benztropine he also prescribed, only once. The Benztropine made me feel so sleepy, I felt like a walking drugged zombie, I was totally unmotivated and couldn't get anything accomplished. With all that's been happening, I feel out of control. Me and my parents are seriously thinking about putting me in an inpatient psychiatric hospital program, for awhile. First will ask and see what my psychiatrist thinks or wether he agrees with the idea of an inpatient psychiatric hospital program. I am feeling pretty much confident yet nervous about the idea. I am seeing my psychiatrist tommorow,8/4/11. All I can say is please keep me in your thoughts and I hope my psychiatrist says yes on the inpatient program, that I get the right medication and lastly I feel better soon.