Sorry for typos meant to proof before I hit send.

I'm an almighty blabbermouth, hence the whole of my children's (two) schools know I have RA. When something comes up I can't do (e.g. chopping in canteen) I just say I can't do it. I also ask for help alot, and have very supportive friends. I am frequently late for school, I share the school run with a friend who has a newborn who is also serially late. I'm always cheery when I have to decline something though, just matter-of-fact. Time to drop the guilt girlfriend, just learn to say it like it is! It's the only way. Hope your flare buggers off soon, you poor thing - it's very tough with young children x

You will find a lot of support on this forum. I've found that no one can really understand you unless they have a chronic illness themselves and RA is one of those illnesses that are invisible to others and profoundly intrusive in our lives. RA is an isolating disease because your limitations set you apart from social activities. People just don't understand. I'm going to give you some links that might help as someone new and struggling with the disease that helped me. I have not found any online group that is more caring than these people on the DS forum. As you can see from the wide array of posts we vent, share our sorrows, discuss our disease process, but we also encourage each other.

I remember the first time I told someone in a social group that I couldn't participate in an activity. They literally looked at me like I was a lazy cow. We were stocking boxes with 5 lb sacks of sugar, corn meal, flour and such with other heavy grocery items for charity deliveries at Thanksgiving. You just have to be like a duck and let it roll off your back and do what you can and make no appologies for what you can't do. That is the part of RA that really sucks.

Chelley

http://www.the-rheumatologist.org/details/article/1311755/An_Identity_Crisis_for_RA.html

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/

Honey,
Do what you can, put yourself and your family first and the rest just has to be.
I understand how hard it is to NOT feel guilty about what you cannot do anymore. However, there comes a point when you just have to say enough and/or ask for help.

I had to give up a part time job on campus because I was asking too much of myself. I actually needed to hear my husband say, "You need to stop!" before I realized I was making myself more sick.
{gentle hugs}