Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group
Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic, inflammatory, multisystem, autoimmune disorder. It is a disabling and painful condition which can lead to substantial loss of mobility due to pain and joint destruction. The disease is also systemic in that it often also affects many extra-articular tissues throughout the body including the skin, blood vessels, heart, lungs, and...
My mom and mother in law are loving, kind, and wonderful. I'm not complaining about them, but their perception is so off and I find it frustrating. When I speak of my ra, I get them telling me their problems, comparing, and saying it's just something we have to learn to live with (mom in law said something similar to this). My mom had crooked dip joints from osteo, non painful. Slightly deformed wrist, osteo. Knee hurts, osteo and baker cyst. My mil has osteo in her knees, probably will need replacements in the future and they hurt, yes. Back bothers her some. Feet hurt a lot, terrible looking bunions. I'm sure she hurts, but it's repairable with surgery! My father in law needs a total knee replacement and he will get his relief. My aunt in law got a hip replacement and her other hip popped, that's bone on bone baby she laughs, and will replace the other hip soon. They hurt, but it's fixable.
"I have to learn to live with it, look at me I'm living with it, you can too."
I want to yell I'M 35 YEARS OLD! You're 60 aunt in law, 65 mom and dad in law, and almost 75 mom! I can replace these fire joints, I can't fix it. I can try to maintain a life, but I can't fix this. I have 40, maybe if I'm lucky 50 YEARS of intense never repairable ra issues. Why don't you see?!
I don't want to live in daily hope of remission and feel years from now cheated it never happened. So if I ever achieve remission, it will be an awesome surprise that I never expected, instead of a potential disappointment I never received.
Anyway, they all are clueless, and their comments are slightly ignorant and insensitive despite being wonderful individuals. I don't hold it against them, but it is ever so frustrating. I'm glad I have each and every one of you to understand.
If my gma was still living, I'd be calling her to complain. If she told me, well it's something we have to learn to live with, I'd be so much more impacted by that statement. She developed ra around 50, and passed about 76, so she got it. Thanks for the vent.
I know you all have felt this way at least once.
"I have to learn to live with it, look at me I'm living with it, you can too."
I want to yell I'M 35 YEARS OLD! You're 60 aunt in law, 65 mom and dad in law, and almost 75 mom! I can replace these fire joints, I can't fix it. I can try to maintain a life, but I can't fix this. I have 40, maybe if I'm lucky 50 YEARS of intense never repairable ra issues. Why don't you see?!
I don't want to live in daily hope of remission and feel years from now cheated it never happened. So if I ever achieve remission, it will be an awesome surprise that I never expected, instead of a potential disappointment I never received.
Anyway, they all are clueless, and their comments are slightly ignorant and insensitive despite being wonderful individuals. I don't hold it against them, but it is ever so frustrating. I'm glad I have each and every one of you to understand.
If my gma was still living, I'd be calling her to complain. If she told me, well it's something we have to learn to live with, I'd be so much more impacted by that statement. She developed ra around 50, and passed about 76, so she got it. Thanks for the vent.
I know you all have felt this way at least once.
I think the key words are that NO one understands unless they are in the same situations, as we all are at this site.
We all share a community and challenges that very few mainstream people do.
Those that have had the gift of long (mostly) healthy lives cant understand what it is like to battle illness for most of their lives and it is regrettable that (on some level) we more regrettable that those we love will never "realise" the depth of those struggles.
Although I have always tried to empathise with the struggles of others I have probably not always understood their circumstances either.
The opportunity that we all get to meet each other and bring understanding and acceptance is probably one of the most important things that has happened in my entire journey with this illness.
If I could physically reach out to you all and give you a blanket hug for all that you all go through I would. But at this time we can all just write words of comfort and try to be ears when the rest of the world seem deaf.
Much love and kindness,
Trish