It's tough and I give you young mommies so much credit who are dealing with young children and RA so much credit. I was lucky if you want to say lucky that I developed RA when my older son started college and the younger son was about a pre-teen. I sat them down and my husband and explained what it would mean for all of us as a family to deal with this and how my energy level would change.

i was diagnosed when i was 22. i could do everything with just mild pains and fatigue. and was not on any meds. at 32 i gave birth to my child and i went BOOM with RA. now she is 3 and i always limp and i had to use my cane first time for the christmas. i have mild deformities in fingers, shoulders, neck, knees and i could literally feel how RA is progressing very fast on me.

sorry i felt very dizzy and i had to stop in the middle.

during the flares, i feel very bad being stuck in bed. but when i feel good i try to do more for my kid. i take her to all the places i can. but by the time i come back home i am almost tired. the good thing is she takes a nap as soon as we come home so i get some time for myself to relax. as she is getting bed and wants me to play with her all the time and sometimes i just cant. i dont think i can plan for another child. i am happy with one. all i can think of right now is just take care of myself and do everything that i can for my kid. she does understand when i say "mommy has boo boo" she shows all her love and care by kissing me and lying by my side. that makes me very happy. but i dont know how does she do as she gets big seeing me in pains. hope she understands.

I've got 3 kids now 8,10 and 12 yrs and have been dealing with this illness since the youngest was 3 yrs old. I do worry about them unfortunately the youngest has adhd, sensory processing disorder and aspergers, the middle one anxiety and the oldest with a mood disorder so needless to say the stress in the household is huge on any given day dealing with all their needs that my illness and needs usually take a back seat to their therapies, needs and doctors appts.

Oh my goodness, my heart, thoughts, and prayers go out to all of you. Kudos for you to endure so many struggles. I believe all your kids will turn out fine. They will develop compassion and understanding through all of this. Kids can get through anything as long as they feel that unconditional love that I know all of you show them. It is frightning to be a young Mom but what you guess do is unreal. I applaud all of you.

Hawkeye, how do you even start to deal with this? I can't imagine. My oldest was in college, the younger two still at home when mine really fired up. I still have problems- I WANT to go to their activities, etc., but at least I'm not tying shoes and pouring juice for the three of them anymore.

A tip of my hat to all the moms dealing with this "stuff" and everything else.

Be well and Peace
Bluedogs2

I cannot imagine dealing with this and raising young children. For those of you who are, you have my utmost respect.

Hopefully over time your daughter will be more reassured that her mother is going to be ok.I hear a lot of times on the news about a small child who has been taught to call for help if their parent has a seizure or goes unconscious..I too wonder if this child is a nervous wreck-but there are things that can't be helped. And you just have to reassure your daughter that you will be ok and for her not worry so.

My kids are 12, 7 and 7 and I've had RA for their entire lives.

I think the hardest part for me was the worry that I wouldn't be a good role model of an active life for my children, especially my daughters. This thought came crashing down on me when they'd ask me to play tag with them when my girls were around 4 or 5. I used to be a pretty good athlete - I performed with a college dance squad and ran endurance races into my mid-20s. As you can imagine, I'm not as fast or as graceful as I used to be, and it hurt when my kids called out during one of our tag games "Mommy, you run like a chicken!" I thought of myself positively because I was willing to try; they just saw me as looking silly.

My solution was this: I started with an admission. "Yes, you're right - there are things I can't do as well as I used to." And then, I'd explain that it wasn't always this way, but that I have a disease in my joints and whole body that makes me move differently and hurt more. Then, I started shifting the focus to what I *could* still do.

Ever since those conversations, it's helped my kids and me look at ways I can adapt the activities we do (tag, swimming, hiking, jogging - and just a few weeks ago, skiing) to show them that it's still possible for me to participate in things they do as long as I look for a way. I've found a new joy and confidence as I think "ok, how can I do this?" Even if I don't participate in the entire activity, I can still be included in some way, and I think my kids - especially my 12-year-old, who really understands how much it hurts sometimes) - are proud of me. They see that someone can be physically challenged and still live and take part to the fullest. I hope that helps them - or someone else - someday. I know it's helped me!

That's a tough one.
Some kids seem to respond to illness in this way. My niece was the same, if moms leg hurt her leg hurt. She was so good at mimicking it was hard to tell at times.

My girls are older, with the youngest going into high school when my health problems started. Both were frightened for me & when DXed with RA both were fearful of getting it. Then again they see their Aunt neatly crippled from it & that adds to the fear.

If she has a good pediatric doctor perhaps they could help with her fears. She's young enough so speaking to her as she grows may help.
This can't be easy for you or her.
I really think some kids just react like this.
I'm sure you've been the best role model you can.
It's smart to let the school know.
I wish you the best of luck & glad your doing better.
Blessings, Sammy

I feel I can chime in since my "kids" ha ha are in their 30's. Interesting how life's challenges help them to be compassionate and realize the world does not cater to their every desire. Its ok to have to sacrifice.
Madhuri I'm hoping your daughter will become a world class rheumy and I'm going to make an appt. to see her :)

I have great admiration for all the mums who are dealing with RA and have young children. It must be so difficult. Our three daughters were in their 30s when I was dx.

beechfeet, i sure am. she would become a doctor. and i am her first RA patient. i wanted to become a doctor, but i couldnt. and i always wanted one of my kids become a doctor (if they wish).
hope my dream comes true.