My doctor tried Plaquinel, Sulfasalazine, MTX, Arava and they all gave me bad diarrhea. Arava made me very dizzy. I really did not want to take Arava because it can hang onto your liver for 2 years after you stop taking it. They have to give you a special medicine to flush it out of your liver. I was very scared of the biologics but I'm glad I tried it. I have hardly any side effects from it. I used to get diarrhea allot but the Enbrel stopped it.

I have those pity parties a lot these days. This is all still very new to me. I haven't even lived with this condition an entire year, but it feels like a lifetime. I hate the way others don't understand. I work in a hospital, and you would think they would understand. I don't know how long I'll be able to continue working, which scares me half to death. As I type this my knee has swelled to the size of a grapefruit just from running up and down hallways at the hospital. I'm a patient tech, and I was in college (pre nursing,) before this happened. Now I'm on a medical leave, and doubt I'll ever be able to go back. I feel like I've lost everything...my only happiness is my family. I'm a little late replying to this thread, but I relate so much to your feelings. I've even had the same thoughts about my boyfriend. It's just really difficult to accept this situation...

Hi Nomorera, hang in there. You will be okay and have a pity party whenever you want. i agree with Libra and dreamchaser. If BF didn't want to hang in there with you, he could have been long gone. Try not to push him away. I am sure he likes you for who you are and RA is not who you are. I think once you are able to be on a biologic you will feel a bit better. What do you have on board for pain medication until the Dmards kick in? Hope you are feeling better soon.

Hi everyone. thanks for the loving support. I am feeling much better, mentally physically and emotionally.
The boyfriend is amazing. I started back to the gym recently and the first day he said "I don't care if we are here 5 minutes, if you are done, you are done". I said okay and he made me pinky swear. It was so sweet.
He checked with me about every 5 minutes to see how I was doing and sure enough, the minute I said I was done he said "okay let's go". I am now up to 30 minutes at the gym with no pain. A little at a time. I hope we can work out this weekend, even for a short one.
I am so lucky to have such great support.

Nomorera, how did you work up to 30 minutes? I was having a pity party and got online and read this thread and it helped. Figure one step at a time.