Today, is a realy hard day for me. As I have many family memmber that served our beautiful Nation. This day remind me of them and the real battles they had to face. My great grandfather passed away just two years ago. He was in the U.S. Air Force for over 10 years then went into the marrines for another 20 years. He walked MILES every morning with his dog. When the doctor told him he shouldnt be trying to run it anymore. Till him and the dog passed. 5 years before my great grandpas death his son(my grandpa) died of Cirrhosis. He seved for almost 50 year! He want far in rank. Did thing hes can NOT legally talk about. Both died in old age and NEVER talked about war! They just wanted to put it behide them. But me, I LIVED for their wisdom!

As for myself, tryed for EVERY serves out there. Even Nation Guard wont take me. I know Im too sick. I've been walked out of the recuring center too many times to count. Beaks my heart that Im not healthly enough to become a hero like my grandparents!

The Air force took a blood test. They found RA actor in my blood and diagnosed me with Rhematoid Arthritis when I was 18 years old. I ran 10 miles a day! Did countless sit ups and push ups! Worked my body to it peak. Still the only time in my life when I had a 6 pack. I trained for months! I never wanted anything SO BAD in my life! Today is a hard day for me. So many unanswered questions. Too many "what if's". The wrost part about this is i feel like Im letting down my family. Not carring on their Legacy. Not putting everything toward our freedom like they both did. It really hurt me deep down! I cant help but cry as I write this! I just want one more day with them. To laugh and joke again in the most twisted of ways. 

They were both Great people. I hung off their every word for years. Decades even. They alway known a way around trouble. The way the carried them self (is what I think I miss the most) with pride, wisdom and sprit. Nothing broke them down! They live for our freedom. Just because I cant sever dosnt mean Im not fighting a battle all on it own. My own body is killling me faster then ANY pill or drug. I have disformation of my joint to look forward too. I have surgeries to get. I know I'll NEVER be in a actual war. but this RA, This is a battle both of them never saw. Thank goodnesss for that! But because of there words of wisdom I stand strong with swollen joints and a limp in my walk. I know they live though me and I will fight just as hard!