All I can say is 'been there, done that.' Eventually, you decide what is worth it and what isn't, and where to draw the line. I have ended up with a fever from getting so run down.

When I feel tired, I stop. If something important is coming up, I build in a rest day before the event to help insure that I can make the important one. You have to decide for yourself what those things are. For me, it was my family. Other obligations had to fade away. I can do some, but not all and not every week.

Not everyone was understanding about my choices. I had to be okay with that.

You will find a balance.

I agree with Kim. Rheumatism does not behave in real life like it does on the tv commercials. I have read medical articles by specialists claiming that RA is only bad in the first year and then it gets better. If that were true, young RA patients would have visible deformites throughout their bodies and have rheumatoid nodules, scleritis, sjogrens - problems getting dressed and self care - just like the older RA patients - this a lifelong process and it is not easily tamed and there are a lot of changes that you will have to make just to keep going. There is no cure so the best thing to do is to learn the work-arounds and do it your way. Get everyone involved. and remember how to order pizza if you need a rest from cooking. This is real. Do your best and don't blame anyone because it aint nobody's fault - not even yours.

Roll on.

It's like asking how do you know if you're in love? You just know -- but unfortunately, usually not until afterwards! I overdid it this past weekend. The weather was sooo gorgeous. I went with my two GFs from grade school to an outdoor sculpture park and we walked for THREE HOURS! I got home EXHAUSTED, but after a night's sleep, I was fine.

When my knee or ankle was bad, I knew on the spot when I had to stop...but now, not.

It's taken me 20 years to sort of figure this out. And right now, mostly because my meds aren't strong enough to push myself as much as I would like to! I hate backing out of any commitment. But, it seems like I may have to do this for another of issues that I am involved in right now. My knee is so bad I am walking with crutches, and I am just exhausted all the time. If I take anything that helps with the fatigue, then I can't sleep, and then I am more fatigued.

I know with church, and playing in a worship team, we play late to practice on a week night, then very early practice (for me) on Sunday before church. It just kills me to do it. But, I play flute, (besides singing) and people seem to really appreciate it. I'm taking German right now in college for fun. I'm learning lots and I really enjoy it. But, more homework than I have ever had in any course, and I have a Master's degree, Bachelor's, teacher training, and I almost finished a French Language Proficiency Certificate, but RA stopped that, in my early years with this disease.

So, I guess trying to give up some things, without giving in? And then learning to recognize when you are too tired, or in pain to do something.

I was a super mom, plus working teaching full time. My kids were in rep hockey (3 boys) my daughter figured skated to a provincial level. I had 18-20 ice slots a week! I was playing in the church orchestra, with these huge productions that were professional and attracted 10,000 people at Christmas and Easter. Then, I was taking courses at the time to upgrade. Oh, and flute lessons, music history and harmony. Plus doing all the housework, meals and shopping.

And surprise, I got sick! I think I broke my body! There were other factors, of course, but some of us Type A's really need to learn to slow down, which is most of us, from what I have read.

So, this will be my exit. I am exhausted. LOL