I know how tough it is. Sometimes, just giving a brief answer without too much info is the best way to go.

Lynne

Before my Rheumatologist got me on the right combination of meds. I was in horrible pain most of the time. My daughter-in-law who works with me would ask how I felt every day, and I would tell here "OK". Now that I am doing well, I have to be carefull not to say OK, because to here that means I am in practically unbearable pain. It has gotten to be a joke between us.
Matt

Yep same here, my dad always asks me how I'm doing and I usually just say "alright" unless I'm in a really horrible flare or something more unusual acting up. Once in a while a friend or someone will ask how I'm actually feeling, and if I get into it it just gets even more tiring talking about it! Let's face it, empathy for somebody who feels bad, is in pain, or whatever is one thing but actually hearing a list of everything that hurts is another.

Darn, I thought this topic was going to be about sex. *disappointed *

FINE
Feeling In Need of Encouragement.

lol, sorry dream!

Sometimes I wonder if ANYONE answers that question honestly! lol I know I never do and I certainly didn't when my RA was out of control. I would just say, "fine" or "ok". I didn't mean a word of it.

Maybe our society needs to invent a different way to greet people. I always say, "How are you?", but I honestly don't want to know most of the time! lol Let's face it: How are you? is a loaded question that just begs either dishonesty or too much information!

Sometimes I say something like, "Hey you. Long time, no see. What have you been up to?" Even that can be tricky though. You could get really uncomfortable answers like: Getting divorced or Burying my cat. Yuck! Where do you go with that?

Are we just stuck with horrible greetings? I for one, would like to start a new trend or greeting people honestly and eliciting honest responses. Any suggestions?

lol. I work at a university--- in the pre-professional office (which means all the pre-meds, pre-pharms, pre-laws, etc.) All of our student workers are pre-something and they check on me all the time-- how are you today? What meds are you on? Can I help you life/move/carry that? So, with my co-workers (including the students) I am always honest (Well, my fingers really hurt today, Feeling good today!, etc.)

I know some of my advisees really well and they know I have RA and am sometimes a slow walker (at the largest campus in North America!) or have shoulder pain (sling is a dead giveaway) and I'll be honest with them too.

My biggest problem had been with meeting new people--- they all wanted to shake hands with the Kung Fu Grip!!! I actually cried once when a woman scrunched my hand and asked, oh, did I hurt you? Well, duh! I solved the hand shaking problem by only offering my left hand. If they ask, I tell. If they don't ask, I don't tell! took a while to get used to offering the left hand, but in a few weeks it became an automatic reflex.

i am a cosmetologist and for me, it's better if i don't talk about it because when i do, my client's usually go into their ailments and say they understand...that would make me mad and i figure that would make things worse on my body. i am over being angry at people who don't understand, and it's i have found it's better for me if i share with people who are in the same boat as me...
my dear Afriel, I DO UNDERSTAND YOU!
RA SURVIVORS AR SOME KIND OF SPECIAL PEOPLE!

My response when I was in rough shape was "I'm surviving". Lets people know you not really OKAY but coping.

Lately becuase I'm not doing to bad my response is "Not too Shaby, I'm coping well these days" implies that again I'm not really fine, but better than bad.

HUGS! It's SO hard to fake it on a regular basis. I think everyone would stop asking if I really told them. I always shoot for "it's a good or bad pain day" but hanging in there!

Kellie

I am starting to learn who I can be totally hones with about how I am feeling and those who really don't care to understand..the other day, my former director asked me how things were going...at one time we were very close...I was having a terrible day....and instead of the usual....hanging in there...waiting for the medicines to work and the smiley (this was over a text) I dared to be truthful and texted the whole sad thing....her response....Hmmm:) I just sat there in shock and with hurt feelings.....I don't want anyones sympathy....just don't want their judgement.

I learned that "FINE" means
F'd up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.

I think I'll go with "fine" if anyone asks...cause it damn well is the truth for now!!!

~Cole

I'd love to say great & mean it. I always say OK, just OK.
If we really said how we feel I bet those same people probably would not ask again.
Those closet to me I may be honest with, aching but Ive learned to just go with the flow on most days.

Sammy

I susally say I'm o.k. also. I think that's what most people just automatically say. I hate when you ask people how they are and then they tell you "exactly" how they feel for 20 minutes or more! It's too much info. Or people that complain constantly when I know that I feel probably worse than they do. I just don't like to complain.