Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group
Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic, inflammatory, multisystem, autoimmune disorder. It is a disabling and painful condition which can lead to substantial loss of mobility due to pain and joint destruction. The disease is also systemic in that it often also affects many extra-articular tissues throughout the body including the skin, blood vessels, heart, lungs, and...
Three weeks before I started nursing school this past January, my hands and wrists swelled to look like boxing gloves and I completely lost the use of them. My father brother and sister all have/had RA so I knew what it was before it was diagnosed. I had worked for six months to get into school (at age 54). The entrance exam alone was a real "ball buster." I had also already paid my tuition in full..............This was to be my third "career" and being one of those people who has always done whatever I put my mind to, with no regard for my age and taking good health for granted, I honestly thought I could still do the school. I went to a rheumatologist and told him that I HAD to start school in three weeks and for him to give me whatever it took to regain the use of my hands as fast as possible!!!! Mega steroids did the trick. He also started me on methotrexate and I don't have to tell any of you how fun that is..... I regained the use of my hands, but of course all of my joints still ached. In spite of this, I still thought I could go to school. What I hadn't counted on was the FATIGUE and EXHAUSTION!!!!! I have made excellent grades and done well but it has taken an enormous toll. Over the weekend (I take my MX on Friday night) I was sooooo sick. I needed to be studying for an enormous pharmacology test but couldn't. I had to come to terms with the fact that I can't do this. So, later today, I am going to see the Dean of the nursing school and tell her that I am withdrawing from school. You would think a nurse would know more about RA, but since I don't look "sick" and I am not visibly limping, I know that she will think that I am wimpy and over-reacting to having the RA.........which we all know is crap!!! So for those who say they feel like a failure, I KNOW how that feels. It is a strange and unfamiliar thing to me and I don't like it!!! Wish me luck with the Dean.....................
I am a 60 year old college student with RA so I think I understand, not only the frustration, but the drive to do well. My courses are not as grueling as yours and it still takes a great amount of energy. I can only imagine how hard this decision is and how deep the disappointment goes.
Perhaps this is not a failure but a change in direction. I spent a lot of time on the clinical side of healthcare but there is no way that I can do that physically any more. So I opted to get retrained in something that I can do sitting down and still use my clinical knowledge. All of my classes are online so I can work around the bad days and pretty much at my own pace. This is also something I can do from home when I no longer want to commute.
Meanwhile, my thoughts are with you. Coming to terms with the very real limitations of this disease is very hard. Realizing that one can't "mind over matter" all the manifestations of the disease and the medication side effects is saddening. I have no doubt that most here on this forum have gone through this too.
Let us know how your meeting goes.
Thanks to you guys for the support.
Take care.
Depot
Lynne
Thought about going back & thought nope.
Just could not keep up & I know that. Dropped out when my CP first started.
Understanding is always nice. Glad the Dean understood.
Either way you get a 100% for effort.
Sammy
I will add one thing here... my brother came to visit me last week (from far away). He hadn't seen me for a few years. I had mentioned in emails that my RA was really bad again. When he was here he said something like "well, it looks like you are walking just fine," as though I couldn't possibly be in much pain. I just let it go. Of course, he wouldn't understand. Who does, other than us? I did convince him that I really wasn't up to walking around the museums that day, so we stayed home and just chatted all day.