Hi. I totally understand. I just posted a few weeks ago regarding the same thing. My husband is not supportive. If I even mention that I'm not feeling good he starts asking me, "what about me and my pain?" So then I feel guilty for asking for time to rest. I work full time w a commute and three very active kids. I worked 14 hours the other day because I've had to get reports in before Thanksgiving Break and I'm still recovering, however life didn't slow down. My son had band competition the next day and I spent three hours in the light drizzling rain sitting on cold bleachers in a pain level of about 7, while holding my 4 and 5 year old girls to keep them warm, all the while my husband sat there complaining he was cold and wet without trying to help. Sometimes we need to rely on others such as on this group.
As for the prednisone ride I'm there too. I've gained 15 pounds in five months so that is not helping all this pain and depression. It's not been a fun ride but without the people here I couldn't get through it. Lean on us because we really understand bc we are going through the same thing or gave been there.
Hang in there. Lots of hugs to you.

I would like to say that I am very impressed with all of you out there who can juggle working, kids, husbands, pets, and households while dealing with RA disease activity. I feel like I am barely hanging in there and I'm currently not working, have no children, no husband or boyfriend. I do have 2 supportive cats who are very low-key and a supportive family: brother, mom, and sister.

To me, you are superwomen and supermen. I'm new to this but the pain and fatigue have me so far from what I would consider a normal life. The fact that you guys can juggle all of that right now gives me hope that maybe someday soon I'll be able to again.

I'm sorry that you're feeling down and I wish the best for you and your husband.
Katie

I fully agree.
Raising families, working. Accomplishments period deserve credit.
This disease can chew you up & spit you out.
Yet you keep going.
I know people with not one thing wrong that do less so give yourselves credit & realize you are survivors.
Put your husband in your shoes for a wee bit of time & I'm betting he would not do much if anything. Takes time to adjust, accept & learn how to do things a little different. It's easy for others to judge or expect.
They don't walk in your shoes.
In my opinion you all deserve a gold medal for putting up with this disease & living with family that do not support your efforts.
Just because you were unlucky enough to get this does not mean your not worth just as much as you were before.
If only they realized just how strong you all are.
I hope one day they do.
In the mean time we do.
Sammy

Feeling for you in this situation. I was married for a long time to someone unsupportive when I was well and very active so I can understand. I am single now and don't have the pressure of a spouse's expectations and can see how that compounds the stress of this disease.
On the flip/single side of things I am solely responsible to see that everything is accomplished. Needless to say many things I've learned to let go of or wait.
The most important thing I decided on soon after my official diagnosis is that I accept I would need to spend more for convenience. I live paycheck to paycheck and have medical bills streaming in like all of us, but I had to let this go to reduce the stress. I would not and did not choose this illness, it is like any other serious illness no one would wish for, I won't punish myself for tasks I cannot perform anymore or for a while. For a long time I didn't even have the energy to prepare a meal for myself after a day at work,so buying prepared or packaged/chopped food has been the only way. Other things like filling up with gas, buying gifts, even a birthday cake, it will be purchased where and when I can get it done, if its 5 or 10 dollars more, it is, I learned to let it go.
As far as cleaning & house stuff if its just a matter of getting it done hopefully hiring the help is an option. If its a different type of expectation I'm glad you're seeking counseling.
And in the end no one really cared if I made the cake, or shopped and shopped for a gift or got a gift card at the last minute, it was unnoticed.
Take care of yourself.

@ramom

i am a single mom and it was all me for school and activities. oh goddess the band, symphony, and ensemble days with RA after you inject at work, the bleacher and stand seats, falling asleep in the rehearsal waiting rooms across three chairs at 8 pm. i get it.

depot