Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group

Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic, inflammatory, multisystem, autoimmune disorder. It is a disabling and painful condition which can lead to substantial loss of mobility due to pain and joint destruction. The disease is also systemic in that it often also affects many extra-articular tissues throughout the body including the skin, blood vessels, heart, lungs, and...

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Fearful

becrox
becrox
Ok so this isn't intended to be a massive looking for advice blog. I am really just venting. Support would be great but please don't lecture me. I WILL get there in my own time....I swear I will.

Here goes, I have 2 beautiful, wonderful daughters. I am still BFing the last baby and therefore am not allowed to take any but the lowest form of birth control (also known as the minipill). My doc warned me that this late in the game with Taylor only bfing a few times a day I have an increased chance of pregnancy.

Now it is not that another pregnancy would be unwelcome. (truth be known I would have 6 kids if I thought I could handle it physically and financially haha). HOWEVER, the past month I have been having the worst flare I have EVER had. To the point where it is difficult somedays with the two kiddies I do have.

I noticed a few weeks ago that I was starting to feel bloated. Not my stomach really but my lower abdomen. I am not hungry and I am getting out of bed at 2am almost every night because I am dying of thirst and HAVE to have ice cold juice. All of this happened with my first 2 pregnancies.

I know I should just get it over with and take a test but I am terrified to. How in the heck would I handle another pregnancy? How would my hubby deal if suddenly I was on mat leave again? (I just went back to work about 8 months ago after having the last baby). I don't know that we are at a place financially that we could have another one. I am scared to put that kind of stress on my husband.

UGH!!!!!!!!! I just feel like screaming!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. I'm not sure if you had ever seen the post over a month ago, but had found out I was pregnant. My youngest child is eight, and to beat that, I had my tubes tied!! Even with the tubal though, God proved that He is in control, no matter what we do, he has the final say! It was my third pregnancy since the poceedure. The first two ended in miscarriage. They were both inuteran, which meant we stood a very good chance that this would be a healthy full term pregnancy.

My husband and I were beside ourselves. However ever, our faith is strong (please don't see this as a lecture on God, just how we ourselves handled it) and we decided that what ever happened, God would take care of it. And to be honest, the idea of another child excited us.

Apparently, it wasn't meant to be. The pregnancy was tubal and I had to have emergency surgery.

The point is this. It scared the pee out of us. We were a mixed bag of emotions, and really didn't know how to feel. We constantly teetered on the line, looking at the good as well as the bad, and not knowing how to pray.

Just hang in there until you know for sure. Although, I do have to say that we tend to know our bodies, I knew I was pregnant days after the conception.

Everyone says "I want to be ready before having kids", truth is, you are never ready for a child! Yet, somehow, it always works out. I wanted six, and I am thankful for my three. While having another one now would be hard, I would welcome it with the knowledge that my husband and I have what it takes to make it work.

Take care and God bless. I hope you find peace in what ever happens.

-Tanya N
deleted_user
deleted_user
I hear pregnancy puts RA in remission :)
becrox
becrox
Tanya, Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your story with me. I had not read about it and I am sorry to hear that you have had so many complications. From one mom to another, my first pregnancy was a tubal. I was very lucky and it was early enough into it that I was able to do the MTX shots to absolve the pregnancy instead of having to opt for surgery. However my doc neglected to inform me that the shots can mess with your fertility and we had to do 2 rounds of fertility treatments to get pregnant with our first daughter. That is why our second one was such a surprise! I really thought I wouldn't get preggers again without hormone treatments, but lo and behold! Apparently having a healthy pregnancy to term can sometimes ' reset things '.

I have to say though I finally got up the nerve to take the darn test and found myself wishing and hoping for another beautiful little girl while I was peeing on the stick haha. However it is not in our future right now. It was negative. I am a little relieved and slightly sad all at the same time. Do you think it is possible to grieve for something that never was?