Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group
Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic, inflammatory, multisystem, autoimmune disorder. It is a disabling and painful condition which can lead to substantial loss of mobility due to pain and joint destruction. The disease is also systemic in that it often also affects many extra-articular tissues throughout the body including the skin, blood vessels, heart, lungs, and...
How does anyone out there breach the subject of having RA when meeting people & trying to date? I'm finding myself in this situation of RA being so much a part of my life and what I'm about...when & HOW do you talk about it without having your date get up & RUN away from the table?? lol
Needing some suggestions here..
thanks...
Needing some suggestions here..
thanks...
it seems as members of the human race we all have battle scars and daily challenges thank goddess :)
asking questions about your (potential) date and listening intently helps immensely. :) he or she will either be a motor mouth and you'll find out what EVERY ONE OF their life challenges are and be actually relieved to have RA (I spent an entire dinner once listening to the intricate facets of having irritable bowel syndrome, yep you read that right) or you will find that their life has been a bowl of chocolates and that they are so shallow that you are wishing your best friend would ring your phone (devise a plan, that works also)
make sure the food is good.
give yourself a momentary respite from the permanent ruminative lodging that RA has taken up in our brains.
you are more than your RA. sing. laugh. tell bad jokes. make sure the food is good if everything falls through and you have to head home to the heating pad cause you are croaking. :) bring the leftovers.
the good news is that endorphins seem to rise when embarking on adventures in case your date is a cutie so perhaps you will not feel the extra stiffening in your joints.
we are humans and we are meant to connect. just because you were not coupled when afflicted does not mean that your soul mate and dance partner and the cup to your saucer is not out there. being flawed is being human. be human :)
Ros
Since dating is also a huge part of people's life it is obviously important to take them both very seriously. I think online dating is an option if your hands can handle the pressure of being online most days. This way people can read about it?
However, In the back of my head I keep thinking that the person out there for you will be okay with this disease. I am a strong believer in that things happen for a reason. Maybe the perfect person for you would have been missed if you didn't have RA?. I think its important to have hope and faith in your future person. I love love, its beautiful and complicated. It doesn't always happen easily. I was reminded today that because we suffer from RA, we also have all the more ability to learn patience. The person for you maybe needs that more than others. I hope you find a way to talk about your RA when meeting people, and dating. In my opinion though, if a person gets up and walks away when they here about something that's going to be hard to deal with..your better off without them bringing you down anyways.
Keeping you in my prayers. :)
B
dating is hard without a chronic illness, but people won't love you or hate you based on your chronic illness. and seriously - if they do, drop them! i can't imagine RA being a make or break item in a relationship and seriously - if it is, would you really want to be with that person? i don't think it's something that would naturally come up on a first date unless your date has major health issues too. if it hasn't come up naturally by the time you're becoming serious, i would make a point to bring it up.
Skye