Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group
Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic, inflammatory, multisystem, autoimmune disorder. It is a disabling and painful condition which can lead to substantial loss of mobility due to pain and joint destruction. The disease is also systemic in that it often also affects many extra-articular tissues throughout the body including the skin, blood vessels, heart, lungs, and...
I am just wondering how many of you do the same silly things I do when out of town company calls and says "Can we come for the weekend?" I almost always answer "Of Course, we would love to have you". Then you over do everything all weekend long, and Monday comes along and smacks you right down. I am sitting here just wishing I would have taken it easier over the weekend. I allowed myself into being talked into changing the menu for much more difficult foods with promises that they would help with the clean up. Didn't happen, never does, but I fall for it everytime they come which is on once or twice a year. (Yup, it's my son and his family. Really hard to say no). How do you all deal with this kind of situation.
When Bluedogs2 was first diagnosed, we let all the in-laws and out laws know up front that things were different and that we would participate when we could and for all to make different types of plans that had once been the norm (go to the grans for holidays) - got some fussing at first, but I just said sorry, but that is the way it is PERIOD.
Hope this helps
Be well
Bluedogs2
Thanks!
And, I wouldn't hold a grudge, just like you aren't.
It tells you next time - when they ask to come, be up front and tell them you want to see them, but your body can't do what it used to, so it's pizza delivery or spaghetti. :)
And, be sure to swap to aluminum pans, paper plates, solo cups, etc. All throw aways! (so clean up is really a non event)
It's not easy, but I think you are awesome to go for it!
Smile - I can cook.
Honestly, I would do just like you did, GrammyKat.
Peace Dear Lady
To all, be well
Bluedogs2
I suspect that you are a super nice person to be around, great person to converse with, and everyone loves your cooking.
Despite this, I think that we all have to set boundries as we are not as functioning as we used to be. We need to let our loved ones know this and include that it pains us that we cannot accept all invitations.
When I have company, Grammy, my family understands I am trying my best but I still take naps or find the need to decline participation in certain activities.
My family knows that there is nothing personal involved and I am doing the very best that I can.
Do you think you are able to pass along boundries, up front, so you don't have to pay so heavily at the week's end?
Very warm regards,
Thewino
Also, since they are grown children, I think you should have a conversation with them, and be honest. I know it seems daunting, but I'm pretty sure they will appreciate your openness and honesty. Our families have no idea what we are dealing with - unless they live with us, or really see us in "action" and SEE US the next few days after their visits.
Just getting the house ready for company is a lot of work, and then to have to entertain them, and cook, and clean up after they leave - it is just too much. We cannot do it. The sooner you have a conversation with them, the sooner you can begin to look forward to their visits. And after all, when family comes to visit, isn't it all about spending quality time together, not what we eat or whether the house is tidy and clean?
Talk to them Gramm! They will still love you and then you give them the opportunity to help ease your daily struggles when they visit.
ah, the six year old appealed to only you can make the item in question...huh?
have another kid in the family tape and you tube your cooking on another day as a present to future generations :) have another kid type out the recipe and give it out at holiday. they are appealing to your culinary vanity my dear :) that works with me long distance with the kids. Mom will you bake and mail..................................they are both in college far away. i can't say as I don't fire up the ovens also.
maybe this is like the others' photography, it is your yin, your essence your cooking. just learn to control the manipulation a wee bit but keep the compliments flowing since NO ONE does make those recipes quite like you :). and didn't it feel good deep down? like YOU had a piece of yourself back?
see it's that tight rope between doing what we love and paying for it later.
Ros