Rheumatoid Arthritis Support Group
Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic, inflammatory, multisystem, autoimmune disorder. It is a disabling and painful condition which can lead to substantial loss of mobility due to pain and joint destruction. The disease is also systemic in that it often also affects many extra-articular tissues throughout the body including the skin, blood vessels, heart, lungs, and...
i took my fourth dose of mtx pills last night. the side effects are not as bad as i anticipated - the worst is the fatigue. the nausea is just annoying - ginger candies really help. the indigestion is easily handled with a few tums. the diarrhea is inconvenient, but you know. my hair and nails seem to have stopped growing, but i've started accepting that's par for the course. my next rheumy appointment is in about two weeks and i'll be asking about the injectable to see if we can offset all those stupid digestive system-related side effects.
the worst thing it that there seems to be no baseline to measure anything by. i read other people's comments about mtx... how they felt better after three weeks, how the swelling and pain started to subside, how it made a noticeable difference. the only thing i notice is the side effects. none of my joints feel any better. it actually seems like it's gotten worse. i felt pretty good on 10mg+ of prednisone, but once i dropped under that, it was horrible. i think that i started noticing more involved joints after the prednisone was out of the picture.
i know it's different for everyone. i spent twelve long, depressing, dangerous years trying to find the right medication for my depression. i watched people take one pill with great improvement, and the same medication would make me violent or physically sick. i know it takes time for medication to start working to it's full potential, but after three full weeks i'd expected to feel *something* change.
the more i learn, the more i pay attention to my body, and the more i know about this disease, the more i realize my life is changing. it's not just about fighting this disease - my body is attacking me. it's about so many lifestyle changes and adjustments. it was only three years and two months ago that i finally got my life back from depression. i spent so much of my life pretending, lying, hating myself, hating other people. i hate to say it's not fair - i sound like a baby. but it is not fair. i'm just so angry and tired and ready to give up. but i don't even know what i'd be giving up on.
the worst thing it that there seems to be no baseline to measure anything by. i read other people's comments about mtx... how they felt better after three weeks, how the swelling and pain started to subside, how it made a noticeable difference. the only thing i notice is the side effects. none of my joints feel any better. it actually seems like it's gotten worse. i felt pretty good on 10mg+ of prednisone, but once i dropped under that, it was horrible. i think that i started noticing more involved joints after the prednisone was out of the picture.
i know it's different for everyone. i spent twelve long, depressing, dangerous years trying to find the right medication for my depression. i watched people take one pill with great improvement, and the same medication would make me violent or physically sick. i know it takes time for medication to start working to it's full potential, but after three full weeks i'd expected to feel *something* change.
the more i learn, the more i pay attention to my body, and the more i know about this disease, the more i realize my life is changing. it's not just about fighting this disease - my body is attacking me. it's about so many lifestyle changes and adjustments. it was only three years and two months ago that i finally got my life back from depression. i spent so much of my life pretending, lying, hating myself, hating other people. i hate to say it's not fair - i sound like a baby. but it is not fair. i'm just so angry and tired and ready to give up. but i don't even know what i'd be giving up on.
Keep your chin up! You are stronger than you realize.
I've been going through this since 2009, but didn't know it until late 2010, early 2011. In fall 2010 I started back to school for my BSc. I just finished that in August. I started my 2 year post bacc program in August.
Academically, I didn't do as well as I did with my first degree, but I did it!
Sounds like you have a wonderfully supportive hubby.
I know it sucks right now. I failed every other DMARD (I'm seronegative) and have now been on Enbrel for 4 weeks. I'm noticing subtle changes, but nothing major yet.
Ask your rheumy about 5-10,000 mg of biotin in addition to you folic acid. It will help your hair and nails.
gentle hugs