Okay, I avoided this thread back when it was first posted and i had full intentions of avoiding it this time around as well, but I think I'll give it a go.

Thus far in my short 20 years, I have spent every day serving other people. I dont think I have it in me to be selfish, I just don't. Although sometimes I wish I did, I know that the people who mean the most to me will always come before myself. I have lived by the motto "God first, others second, myself third" and I can say I'm proud of that.

I trust others, and I think others deserve my trust. I have been taken advantage of, beaten down, raped, and attacked because of this belief, but I won't change it.

I'm the first woman in my family to go to college!! I'm so proud of this. I come from a long line of women who married young because they needed to be taken care of and been stuck in crappy marriages because of it. i WILL take care of myself, i WILL be independent, and i WILL never let a man control my life in any sense of the word.

I used to sing really well. The night that I was attacked I was at a coffee shop with my sister talking about my grandpa's illness and it was at this coffee shop/cafe that I had sung and played guitar many times before. I played one song that night before we left because there was a request for me to do so. I left with my guitar, those terrible people broke it when they broke me, and I couldn't pick up the pieces before I left that parking garage. I haven't sung since...but I am going to, one day I promise myself I will.

I'm strong because I'm alive and here today. As generic and stupid as it sounds...I'm alive. and damn proud of it.

Thats all I've got for now.

Im good at being me be it the good me or the bad me although I now realise the good is much more fun to be around and am better at knowing the difference.

I am pig headed single minded and stubborn and know that if I want to do something enough nothing will get in the way until I achieved it or learnt from it without detriment to those around me!

Like wise I am lazy and I love it! if something does not feel important I won't waste my energy or my precious time (house work falls in to this category drives my husband mad)!I trust I'll want to do it at some point or for some reason that matters TO ME, not just because it "SHOULD" be done.

I am loyal to those around me and unjudgemental toward those I do not know yet.

I am kind and caring, I hope I can help others by example and not by force.

My tutor feedback yesterday said "courageous" and with thought I agree, I could have taken an easier route but because of it learned so much more about me. I had to think about it because that was new to my thinking and self concept.

I am good at being a student of life, open to everything around me. I can draw strength from the simplist things and share its beauty with others.

I am creative, funny and can write and one day I'll have lived enough to write my life story where it is a tale of inspiration and not sensationalised strife. I do not wish to write a book because I was raped but to highlight that rape is unfortunately real and a part of everyones life and collectively we all need to make a stand.

I am a good friend a mother, a wife, a student, a victim, a warrior, a survivor, a student, a counsellor and so much more and I have given my whole self to all.

I am not afraid to fail (anymore) and understand this is the way I learn and when I keep failing I'm not learning what it is I need to Know.

I am a survivor and that is good enough.

Oh my God, you have no idea how much this helps me...how selfish I feel for saying that here, but, one of my most valued traits....my honesty, to a fault. I needed this, to see where you all are, how good you all are doing. I had posted something, then, waffled and removed it. I'm sorry I did that. But, I bumped this because of my struggle, and this is helping me drag out of it...thanks!!!

Oh, that honesty thing...I feel guilty mentioning it because of the lies surrounding my rape, but, I'm working on that in therapy, and honesty finds me, it just takes me a bit longer for the really tough stuff....again, sorry about that. I really love you all. I love your strength, your spunk, you absolute will to beat this...I just love you so much!

I need to remind myself today, so here goes some more arrogant bragging I feel I need it.

I am a volunteer who does what I can to help others find their peace of mind.

I am a good friend that values others and is indeed valued by others for being such.

I am worthy of love and respect.

What's good about me?
Ok Because I'm on such a high about this, this is what's good about me.



I'M A SURVIVOR!!!!! =-D

(Check my journal)

Some of us missed this...or missed posting to it. I wish you would all reconsider. That we can see and value anything in ourselves is a miracle unto itself. We have been bruised, battered, humiliated, devastated to our very souls, yet, here we are! Why? What is it about us that makes our lives since rape possible? There is a genuine thing in each of us, a spark of strength and fire, and brilliance that causes us to shine. I wonder if those of this tribe who have not posted here (c'mon...you know who you are...) would consider doing so mow. For me to read this was a huge pick me up. There has been a down tone to us this Sring...and we seem to each know why. I love seeing the positives, knowing the devastation...I know the accounts of your rapes....and, they are horrendous, but, they are accounts of an event...NOW, with this post, tell me the account of your life...the day to day things you do that make you who you are, because rape didn't do that...rape was a horrible event, but certainly not our defining moment. Come on...please post some more wonderful things.

HAHA I read what I put....geez don't I sound conceited =P

Is reality conceit? I know it is uncomfortable to recognize good within ourselves and to state it - we are taught that it is prideful. But, this is an exercise in naming those things that we each have found within ourselves that reside there...flourish, despite what rape brought into our lives. It (this invitation from Matt), I believe, is more of a way to remind one another of the fact that rape doesn't destroy!! We read it over and over, and may have written it ourselves...how rape did this to us, or that to us...but, this is the flip side..this is the 'didn't steal' part...this is the good parts of us, not a measure of conceit or pride, just plain fact.

Go back and write some more Kardy. This can be a good thing for someone else to read, a way to build THEM up.

Found this gem on my hunting trip...so BUMP

Good thing about me...

I am really kind. I can draw in a way that you can understand what it is :) I can do a mean cross stitch. I am grounded and reasonable (apparently). I am good with babies..not diapers or sick..i'm good with older children ;)

I can laugh really easily and I can read really fast. Which is something I am proud of lol

What is good about me...I love kittens...lol...

Seriously.... I *ROCK HARDCORE* at being a mom and showing my children how much i love them uncondtionally.
I am able to show strangers kindess and empathy.
I have saved a few lives as a medic on the ambulance for 7yrs, and I have touched many more...

I am a very strong person emotionally...as an example about two years ago my uncle was sick and on life support. That would not have been his wish. My family and i sat at the hosp waiting to see if he would get better. He didnt. I wrote a letter requesting the Dr to remove life support and was the first one to sign it, everyone else signed after. My father wanted to be in there when it was removed but emotionally could not handle it. I said i would do it for him. I sat with my uncle and held his hand as he passed away. I was there for my family when they could not emotionally be.

I am a good writer. I have a fabulous imagination. I can draw a little and paint amazingly beautiful.

I find beauty in small things. (a leaf laying on the ground after the rain that has a few drops laying on it)
...im sure i will think of more these are just a few things that i think are "good" about me.

You know? I could (and just might out of spite) write a post on all the wonderful things owning my cat has taught me about myself!
*hiss*

oh I always loved this post..........

Okay..being poop at wiping poop is not what I want as part of my legacy ;)

Apiece..doesn't matter where you get the wisdom; once you have it, you have it :)

Okay so my legacy stuff....

Even when faced with the deep adversity I will still try and reach out to express love and their rejection of it won't, usually, stop me trying. Pour example: When I was 19, even after everything they put me through I still sent a letter to my mother apologising for any bad behaviour and asking that she let me love her. It was not taken well but over time I have learnt to change tact and my mother and I now have a reasonably stable relationship.

I do not reject people just because others have without really good cause to. I will seek out the rejected one and make an effort.

I will stand up for what I believe even if doing so is painful and scary. And I am getting even better at this as time goes on.

My nephew taught me to love myself and in return I give him every possible ounce of love I have in me. I am learning (and will one day achieve) to apply that lesson to everyone I care about.

I can't cook frozen foods well BUT I can cook from scratch pretty well :) I love the creativity of it and I can be adventurous.

I used to be pretty fearless before my past caught up with me. Over time even the little fears paralysed me. The reason I am putting this on my happy list is that every day I do something that would have scared me before. -Walking to the shops alone, watching scary film at night time, having a difficult relationship talk, confronting society/individuals about their attitudes to rape, participating in a _video_ about rape, posting links about rape on facebook where my family can read (i caught my dad reading one the other day). I can't say I am fearless yet but I am not far from it.

I am a survivor :)

I am a rape survivor :) And having that as my legacy doesn't seem so bad any more.

I have the ability to put the best construction on the actions of others,

I am creative. I can think outside the box in traditional settings.

I am a good consultant, I can communicate changes that need to be made in a way that is non-threatening and makes sense to them. I love when my clients say "Oh my God, why didn't I think of that?" after I have just spent the better part of 2 hours critiquing their sanctuary----their home.

I am brave and I am strong. My job often requires that I spent time alone in empty houses with men I have never met before and still be creative.

I am still a kid.....I work with kids on a part-time basis just so that I can keep in touch with that fun,
energetic, creative part of me.

I am a good listener and probably because I have learned that this is different from being a "fixer."

I am a really good problem solver