I think courage is standing up for something, whether it be something you believe in or fighting for the under dog. I also think it's facing fears or doing something that's hard if that makes sense. When I think about this I always open my mouth and speak up for what is right, but I think I exhibited courage the first time I made the appointment for therapy it was the scariest thing. Reading my rape took alot of courage to read it out loud while having my therapist stare at me. I wish I would have the courage to complete this process, talk about my stuck point that I cannot seem to be able to open my mouth on. I think it takes courage to post things on here, for instance Leitha always inspires me with everything she puts out here and I wish I could do that but I am not at that point even yet. All of the women in this tribe that post on here have tremendouse courage and FEAR is what keeps courage from happening.

I believe courage isn't an emotional thing...or even bravery - it is more. I will write more about it when I can, I want to. Courage is something I think we get wrong sometimes, so I want to think about what I'd like to say about it...all I can say right now is that it is a shade of bravery, but bravery doesn't define courage to me. Because a person can be courageous, and not be brave...not the way I am thinking about it. I will work it out in my head and come back to this.

At this moment in time courage to me means honesty. For so long I have feared, conciously or unconciously, the truth of what I have been through that I have on many occasions created a false truth. By that I mean making a rape a consentual experience in my head.

Im fairly pleased that I have a recent example of courage to share :) I showed courage when I was able to say to my friend: I lied about what happened with X. This is how it really happened. Although I didnt go into great detail, I told enough. Thankfully, she was very understanding and saw why I didnt tell the whole truth the first time around.

I was going to say I wish I had had the courage to speak up when I was younger (which I do) but there were many reasons why I didnt. One of those was my ability to create false truths. In my head nothing bad was happening so there was nothing to tell. SO I think that I wish I had been more courageous in general. That Id had valued myself enough to stand up for myself. Its a work in progress but I hope one day I will be able to do that.

I see courage every where...here and in the world around me. My friend is going in for surgery and because the nature of her illness they dont know how she will be when she comes out of surgery. She just gets on with it..no fuss.

I think fear is the reason that stops us doing anything. One of my favourite quotes is 'Feel the fear and do it anyway'. Courage is about feeling a fear, whatever it may be, and facing it; overcoming it. I was smiling as I wrote that because I was thinking of that moment of pride once you push through that fear and you can say that you did it!

Just wanted to add that I think courage is also about pushing through. Waking up every day and getting out of bed and making breakfast etc. Stuff that seems small but when you're feeling so low and want to give up it takes courage to keeping on 'swimming' :D

Maybe thats the difference between bravery and courage?

I think of that title, "The Courage to Heal." I think that in this context of recovery from rape or sexual abuse that it has to do with staying on the path to recovery. It does not mean that you may not fall down or take many steps backward or even stagnant. It is the determination to continue forward even though it may require eventually overcoming fear or facing pain.

For me personally, it means that I have opened of Pandora's box which was unknown to me. That means plodding ahead in the face adversity. That means working on my story until I can see the truth for what it is. It means not giving up because I and my family deserve better.

Now, in my professional life, courage means speaking up for what you believe in. That courage means risk. However, many times, that does not seem to be risk, but what is right. However, speaking for the customers and shareholders did get me laid off. So with high risk comes both high reward or failure. This courage is about "doing what is right." You feel that in your heart and soul.

As I mentioned above, I have had courage in my professional life. Now, I as I do some education advocacy work, I feel that it is just the right thing to do.

In my "personal" life, I had the courage to leave my family of origin. However, I wish that I had the courage to really stand up to my abusers.

What inspires me - is the many people whose stories that I read here. That don't give up and they continually search for answers. Those who have risen above and beyond their tragedies or upbringing to help others. I am inspired by Tori Amos and Shannon Lambert of Pandora's Aquarium. I inspired by gentleman that I met who works to help inner city kids get a better education because that was him. I guess in a nutshell it is those that move beyond trauma and tragedy to succeed at life as well as those who go on to help others. I am also inspired by those who give of themselves selflessly to help others. That would be many here.

What keeps me from having courage? Well, that is easy. It is fear. It is the feeling as I uncover things that I am freak or bad because weird things start happening. It is feeling bad what my family must endure while I am going through this process. It is fear of truly feeling. Professionally, I can take a risk because it is not emotional and truly about me.

I have a friend who has a quote about courage. "Courage isn't the lack of fear, it's going ahead and navigating the mine-filed of life even though your pants are wet clear through." I feel courage is facing our fears head-on and believing we're worth the effort to do so.

I loaded up myself and two teenagers in a mechanically questionable vehicle in the middle of winter then drove 2,500 miles to escape an abusive marriage and make a new start for myself and my children. At the time I was scared spitless and if you'd asked me if I was being courageous, I'd have said no...I was just that desperate. Today I can look back and see that it did take courage to do what I did, but the whole impact of the amount of courage people claim it took still eludes me. I, like so many others here on DS, simply did what I needed to do even though it scared the hell out of me.

So many of us do things on a regular basis that takes so much courage and we play it down. The folks here who are facing or have faced going to court in order to put away their rapists. The ones with the courage to leave abusive relationships. The ones who face daily battles with depression but continue to press on with either school or work or both. Those who pick up that 100-pound phone for the first...or the hundredth...time and ask for help. The ones who write and write and write then read their stories of their rapes, their life experiences, their pain and victories aloud to another, whether it's a therapist or a group meeting together...sharing not only their pain but their hope for a happier, better future. Those who reach out help others even through their own pain. These people are ALL heroes and the only thing that separates them from those who don't have the courage to face things is the belief they're worth the effort.

I wish, in my past that I'd have had the courage to speak up when I was molested, but I was afraid they'd take me away from my parents and put me somewhere else I wasn't safe...at least I KNEW the devil I lived with and chose the one I knew to the one who could have been much, much worse. I feared the unknown and didn't think I was worth the effort to put a stop to what was happening to me. This also goes for the abusive relationships I was in over my life-time...I never felt worthy of doing anything to stop it. Now I can see where I just might be worth something after all and am taking the steps to making a happier life for myself. I found the support here I needed in order to begin believing in myself and I thank you all.

I saw a movie "Insider" last night that showed me examples of courage. Supposedly a true story of a tobacco scientist whistle blower and a 60 minutes journalist. One had to courage to allow what he felt and knew to be the right thing to do to do it...against great threats ... and the journalist who had utter integrity even when the rest of the station bowed out. After the movie I thought to myself "Frontline" is the new 60 minutes. The credits rolled and turns out the journalist with integrity is part of Frontline now.

Courage usually results in new life
It's listening to yourself to know and feel what is right and following it. Standing up to nay sayers. Having faith.

I think courage is a strength of human spirit in the face of adversity. I've exhibited courage when I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, when I got myself off drugs, my move, opening myself up to friends and family, I think I've exhibited a lot of courageous acts. I've witnessed so many both big and small courageous acts, I'm very inspired by the music I listen to and the risks the band I'm such a strong supporter of takes, I'm inspired a lot by people on DS when they make a big step or even a small one, day to day I'm inspired by my friends and family as they keep trying new things despite the majority of them being stuck in a rut, I'm inspired a lot by courage. I think a lot of things keep courage from happening but primarily, I think it's opposition is fear.

Courage - I think for me, it means standing up for what is right, even when that is not the easy thing to do. There are lots of ways that Courage can be exhibited - The people who press charges and go to court against their abusers, the people who just have the courage to speak out about their abuse, and the people who take those first few steps (and the hundreds that follow) toward getting help with dealing with their abuse, and the people who reach out to help others all exhibit courage.

In myself, I saw courage when I stood up and spoke to a group about what I had been through. It was one of the scariest steps I took, but it was totally worth it.

Many of the previous posts also mention fear being a stumbling block for courage - I recently read a really great quote about fear that I think comes into play:
"Everything that is worth something in life is scary." The quote was in the book "Where is God When It Hurts" by Philip Yancey. I think it is so true, if you think about all the really important steps in life, they almost all require overcoming some amount of fear. Marriage, Having Kids, Choosing A Career, Facing Abuse, Speaking Out About Abuse, Prosecuting an Abuser, Confronting an abuser... see a pattern.

This quote from Eddie Rickenbacker, a famous World War 1 aviator, is one I kept in my therapy journal: "Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared."

It does not require any courage to do things that are easy and safe for us. Some of the people I think of as being most courageous are actually quite fearful, but move forward despite fear.

I really liked the quote csigirl mentioned: "Everything that is worth something in life is scary." It makes a lot of sense to me.

Courage and hope seem to me somehow inextricably intertwined. My favorite courage quote:

"There are no valid arguments for the existence of God, but there are acts of courage in which we affirm the power of being, whether we know it or not." (Paul TIllich, The Courage to be).

Even before fear, despair gets in the way of courage. First we hope, then we fear, and then maybe if we are lucky, we do. For courage to take root it needs hope, but courage itself is what ever allows us to convert hope into action, even if that action is nothing more than standing still and waiting with intention. It is some combination of inner necessity and sometimes outer affirmation that pushes us forward into the unknown.

As for acts of courage: acknowledging the possibility of joy when we're sad or the reality of sorrow when we are happy; believing that we have a right to carry on, believing that we have a purpose beyond mere existence, believing that our voice deserves to be heard. All of these take courage. Whether this results in living just one more day or risking your life in the public sphere is simply a matter of circumstance.

But I think showing courage is acting with out fear. Because when you really act in truth the fear should disappear. At least that's how I feel when I act courageously it's kinda like "of course" this will work.

Like me getting involved and staying with that guy actually showed some bravery. Standing in the face of destruction. However courage would have been to run away.

Courage would have been to listen to that voice inside of me before I moved in with him that started to make a check list of what I wanted and then knowing that he could not meet me in this and not doing anything to really listen and hook in turn around and have faith that what this voice was telling me was right.

Ah yes despair or hope ...

Everytime I thought in the first weeks of getting out of there my thoughts turned and saw my boyfriend calling it off...and I felt despair and didn't know what to do and just turned around and stayed in place. However there were moments earlier that I let myself enter despair when I think I could have welcomed the hope? Or is that only in hindsight...a more extraordinary me could have augmented the hope instead of the hurt.

I see a lot of references to courage as being the impetus behind an action: "...acting without fear," etc. But here are two thoughts to stir it up:

What if courage is NOT about acting "without fear," but acting in SPITE of fear? If a person has no fear, they're not really showing courage when they act, are they? It's when we make choices because something is more important to us than fear, that we show courage.

The most courageous people are terrified, not fearless.

Fear strikes me a neutral: it can be a warning sign that there is danger ahead or it can be a sign that we have finally found something so worth fighting for that we are afraid of being disappointed. It's main function is simply to tell us that something we don't want _might_ happen.

My feeling is that fear so often accompanies courage because both grow from the same root. We both hope that thing we truly care about will become reality and are terrified that we may be disappointed. In that case, if we listen to the fear we turn backwards and kill our hope or at least wound it. If we move forward and work to bring our hopes into reality despite the possibility we might fail, we exhibit courage.