Resurrection After Rape Community Group
Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After...
So the therapist I have been working with that is trying to do this EMDR stuff with me, which I find frustrating all by itself. Has me working on some difficult thing that I can't even seem to talk about from when I was a kid. So I've been trying to trust the process but I also have a tendency to want to try to do what I can outside of the session to maybe make some progress.
I had worked on the RAR journaling on my own previously with the stuff that happened with my Ex. I think it brought me to a different understanding with things and I found it helpful, probably because I could talk things out on paper giving it the spin from the workbook.
So I ask her today, that I had been thinking about working with the childhood memory with the journal prompts to see what happened.
She said she doesn't want me to do any trauma work outside of the session.
For some reason this made me sad and frustrated. I'm trying to work with her process of this EMDR stuff but I thought the whole point of the workbook was to be able to use it in between sessions.
Of course this comes up in the last couple minutes before I had to leave since we were doing the EMDR stuff, so I didn't have much chance to find out what her concerns were other than she said it might be too sensory for me.
Oh well.
I had worked on the RAR journaling on my own previously with the stuff that happened with my Ex. I think it brought me to a different understanding with things and I found it helpful, probably because I could talk things out on paper giving it the spin from the workbook.
So I ask her today, that I had been thinking about working with the childhood memory with the journal prompts to see what happened.
She said she doesn't want me to do any trauma work outside of the session.
For some reason this made me sad and frustrated. I'm trying to work with her process of this EMDR stuff but I thought the whole point of the workbook was to be able to use it in between sessions.
Of course this comes up in the last couple minutes before I had to leave since we were doing the EMDR stuff, so I didn't have much chance to find out what her concerns were other than she said it might be too sensory for me.
Oh well.
Admittedly, I've been sort of wandering around while I'm forging my own way, but at the very least I have always felt that my time there was mine to use how I needed to, and I felt like I had at the very least someone who respected that.. Not to say that we haven't gotten frustrated or had to re-direct sessions to include something current.
I've tried the tapping, but not in session, on my own-my therapist gave me the guidelines. It took some getting used to, but it seemed to help a bit with anxiety.
What I found really helpful for anxiety is Guided Imagery. I am grateful that I was directed to it, I use it daily (usually to help me fall asleep) Belleruth Naperstack has some great CD's.
For what it's worth, I find I handle 'meltdowns' better on my own than in the therapist's office, at least I'm most comfortable that way.
I really do hope you can find a way to make this process more in tune with how you would like it to be. It might just take a bit more talking with your therapist to find a good fit for you both.
She has me do my own tapping in session. It's strange.
Anyway, she's willing to work with me but she thinks I'm just worried about letting go of the control, which I can agree with.