Resurrection After Rape Community Group
Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After...
Shanta, R.; et. al. (2005). "Long-term consequences of childhood sexual abuse by gender of victim." American Journal of Preventative Medicine, 28:5, 430-438.
Most studies of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) focus on female survivors. But for both genders, risk of CSA correlates to family-related factors such as divorce, domestic violence (DV), substance abuse by caretakers, and emotionally unavailable caretakers. Perpetrators against girls are predominately male (92%), but a notable proportion of CSA among boys is perpetrated by females (38%). This study looked at later-life issues like self-reported alcohol problems, drug use, suicide attempts, marrying an alcoholic, and involvement in DV relationships.
25% of women and 16% of men reported CSA in this study.
Both men and women reported a twofold risk of suicide attempts.
Both men and women reported a 40% increased risk of marrying an alcoholic.
The magnitude of increased risk of alcohol problems, drug use, suicide attempts, marrying an abuser or addict, and current marital problems associated with CSA was similar for both men and women.
Among men, these consequences remained the same magnitude regardless whether the perpetrator was male or female.
The main difference found in studies about the consequences of CSA between males and females had to do with each gender's preferred coping mechanisms; females were more likely to engage in internalizing behaviors (suicidal ideation, eating disorders, self-injury), while males were more likely to exhibit externalizing behaviors (delinquency, heavy drinking, violence).
The study suggests that CSA is common maltreatment in both men and women. It also suggests that the impact is nearly the same for both, as measured by substance abuse, mental health, and social outcomes. This study also refutes the myth that female perpetration of CSA against boys is generally a harmless form of "early sexual experience," a myth often perpetrated by the male victims themselves. On the contrary, CSA perpetrated against boys by an offender of either gender resulted in nearly identical symptoms of trauma. (This fact ought to combat the tendency of the media to refer to female perpetrators of CSA as having "had sex with" a boy).
What we're finding is that the outcomes of CSA are very similar, yet ales continue to under-report CSA. As a result, there continues to be a gap in services, including an unfounded assumption among therapists that sexual trauma impacts females more deeply, so that treatment approaches should be very different.
Most studies of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) focus on female survivors. But for both genders, risk of CSA correlates to family-related factors such as divorce, domestic violence (DV), substance abuse by caretakers, and emotionally unavailable caretakers. Perpetrators against girls are predominately male (92%), but a notable proportion of CSA among boys is perpetrated by females (38%). This study looked at later-life issues like self-reported alcohol problems, drug use, suicide attempts, marrying an alcoholic, and involvement in DV relationships.
25% of women and 16% of men reported CSA in this study.
Both men and women reported a twofold risk of suicide attempts.
Both men and women reported a 40% increased risk of marrying an alcoholic.
The magnitude of increased risk of alcohol problems, drug use, suicide attempts, marrying an abuser or addict, and current marital problems associated with CSA was similar for both men and women.
Among men, these consequences remained the same magnitude regardless whether the perpetrator was male or female.
The main difference found in studies about the consequences of CSA between males and females had to do with each gender's preferred coping mechanisms; females were more likely to engage in internalizing behaviors (suicidal ideation, eating disorders, self-injury), while males were more likely to exhibit externalizing behaviors (delinquency, heavy drinking, violence).
The study suggests that CSA is common maltreatment in both men and women. It also suggests that the impact is nearly the same for both, as measured by substance abuse, mental health, and social outcomes. This study also refutes the myth that female perpetration of CSA against boys is generally a harmless form of "early sexual experience," a myth often perpetrated by the male victims themselves. On the contrary, CSA perpetrated against boys by an offender of either gender resulted in nearly identical symptoms of trauma. (This fact ought to combat the tendency of the media to refer to female perpetrators of CSA as having "had sex with" a boy).
What we're finding is that the outcomes of CSA are very similar, yet ales continue to under-report CSA. As a result, there continues to be a gap in services, including an unfounded assumption among therapists that sexual trauma impacts females more deeply, so that treatment approaches should be very different.
However I totally agree that was a highly inappropriate post and honsetly I think you have a long way to go yet I am personally not going to be dialoguing you're kinda a jerk.
Healing is about courage and honesty ... I'm afraid you are not demonstating these attributes.
How dare anyone suggest even slightly, for one second, that we don't take child sexual abuse against males seriously? I took it DAMN SERIOUSLY!! Did it dawn on you for even a moment that some of us might be parents or partners of male survivors?
I believed my son. I never downplayed it. Never considered it anything but the sexual abuse it was. Never victim blamed. I took action immediately. In fact, I have taken his CSA way, way more seriously than what I still don't want to label as mine.
So don't try some battle of the sexes nonsense with me. You have no idea who I am and what I've been through, and what my family is still going through RIGHT NOW. This isn't some game to me or some fun sparring match or some way to vent my anger against other people. So take your arguments and accusations somewhere else.
But if you want to cut through that crap and talk healing and solutions -- and how to find good resources for male survivors -- I'd more than welcome you.
Otherwise...the whole thing is too real and fresh and painful and personal for me to be able to take the mean-spirited, ugly words you are falsely leveling against me and the others here.
It isn't all about you. You aren't the only male survivor who matters.
Tom S. in Tn.
If someone says they feel disrespected you can't fix it by bestowing approval. Approval is not the same thing as respect. The only way to fix it is to look at your own behavior and figure out a way to act that will cause less pain. Several people have given you suggestions of how you might do that, but they all involve talking about yourself and your feelings, rather than focusing attention on others.
And now I see you have started a discussion thread that begins "need for control..." but ends in a lecture to stop talking about oneself and focus on the world at large. I can't help wondering if you are trying to control your own pain by looking out the window rather than inward at yourself.
It seems to me that, despite your protests, you are doing the very thing that the study says men are more prone to do - externalize. Whether you are male or female, externalizing with words or alcohol, it _will_ slow down your healing process.
"Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After Rape." Diversity of topics is expected and encouraged!"