Resurrection After Rape Community Group
Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After...
Shanta, R.; et. al. (2005). "Long-term consequences of childhood sexual abuse by gender of victim." American Journal of Preventative Medicine, 28:5, 430-438.
Most studies of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) focus on female survivors. But for both genders, risk of CSA correlates to family-related factors such as divorce, domestic violence (DV), substance abuse by caretakers, and emotionally unavailable caretakers. Perpetrators against girls are predominately male (92%), but a notable proportion of CSA among boys is perpetrated by females (38%). This study looked at later-life issues like self-reported alcohol problems, drug use, suicide attempts, marrying an alcoholic, and involvement in DV relationships.
25% of women and 16% of men reported CSA in this study.
Both men and women reported a twofold risk of suicide attempts.
Both men and women reported a 40% increased risk of marrying an alcoholic.
The magnitude of increased risk of alcohol problems, drug use, suicide attempts, marrying an abuser or addict, and current marital problems associated with CSA was similar for both men and women.
Among men, these consequences remained the same magnitude regardless whether the perpetrator was male or female.
The main difference found in studies about the consequences of CSA between males and females had to do with each gender's preferred coping mechanisms; females were more likely to engage in internalizing behaviors (suicidal ideation, eating disorders, self-injury), while males were more likely to exhibit externalizing behaviors (delinquency, heavy drinking, violence).
The study suggests that CSA is common maltreatment in both men and women. It also suggests that the impact is nearly the same for both, as measured by substance abuse, mental health, and social outcomes. This study also refutes the myth that female perpetration of CSA against boys is generally a harmless form of "early sexual experience," a myth often perpetrated by the male victims themselves. On the contrary, CSA perpetrated against boys by an offender of either gender resulted in nearly identical symptoms of trauma. (This fact ought to combat the tendency of the media to refer to female perpetrators of CSA as having "had sex with" a boy).
What we're finding is that the outcomes of CSA are very similar, yet ales continue to under-report CSA. As a result, there continues to be a gap in services, including an unfounded assumption among therapists that sexual trauma impacts females more deeply, so that treatment approaches should be very different.
Most studies of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) focus on female survivors. But for both genders, risk of CSA correlates to family-related factors such as divorce, domestic violence (DV), substance abuse by caretakers, and emotionally unavailable caretakers. Perpetrators against girls are predominately male (92%), but a notable proportion of CSA among boys is perpetrated by females (38%). This study looked at later-life issues like self-reported alcohol problems, drug use, suicide attempts, marrying an alcoholic, and involvement in DV relationships.
25% of women and 16% of men reported CSA in this study.
Both men and women reported a twofold risk of suicide attempts.
Both men and women reported a 40% increased risk of marrying an alcoholic.
The magnitude of increased risk of alcohol problems, drug use, suicide attempts, marrying an abuser or addict, and current marital problems associated with CSA was similar for both men and women.
Among men, these consequences remained the same magnitude regardless whether the perpetrator was male or female.
The main difference found in studies about the consequences of CSA between males and females had to do with each gender's preferred coping mechanisms; females were more likely to engage in internalizing behaviors (suicidal ideation, eating disorders, self-injury), while males were more likely to exhibit externalizing behaviors (delinquency, heavy drinking, violence).
The study suggests that CSA is common maltreatment in both men and women. It also suggests that the impact is nearly the same for both, as measured by substance abuse, mental health, and social outcomes. This study also refutes the myth that female perpetration of CSA against boys is generally a harmless form of "early sexual experience," a myth often perpetrated by the male victims themselves. On the contrary, CSA perpetrated against boys by an offender of either gender resulted in nearly identical symptoms of trauma. (This fact ought to combat the tendency of the media to refer to female perpetrators of CSA as having "had sex with" a boy).
What we're finding is that the outcomes of CSA are very similar, yet ales continue to under-report CSA. As a result, there continues to be a gap in services, including an unfounded assumption among therapists that sexual trauma impacts females more deeply, so that treatment approaches should be very different.
Let me show you the definition of "feminist"
Definitions of feminism on the Web:
a doctrine that advocates equal rights for women
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
Feminism is an intellectual, philosophical and political discourse aimed at equal rights and legal protection for women. ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism
A social theory or political movement supporting the equality of both sexes in all aspects of public and private life; specifically, a theory or movement that argues that legal and social restrictions on females must be removed in order to bring about such equality
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/feminism
So... are you still against the idea of feminism? Cause I'm SURE, your not in a rape forum, where statistically victims are 99.8% female (is that the right number Matt??) and denouncing the EQUAL rights of women... I'm sure... Cause Lord knows, being victimized by a male, I would never say you don't have equal rights to what I have...
I'm just clarifying...
The anti-feminism rhetoric is old, tired, and ill-placed in a forum that happens to be founded by a man.
You do have a right, by the way, to pleasant memories of your mother. Only you know which ones, and how many there are. No one here will debate that with you. I'm sorry that the manufacture of those memories is applicable for you.
All women are not, nor can they be lumped into one category simply because one has been victimized more than once by a woman. We (women here in this forum) have, by majority, been victimized by men. But, for us to slander the entire male species would not be fair. Not would it be healthy.
I was alive in the 60's but didn't burn a bra...I do believe in equality for women in the workplace and in all areas for that matter...although I do reserve the right to hold out on women on the front-lines in battle...sorry if that offends. I simply do not believe I have to be a stereotypical faminist to be a feminist...and I certainly do not think feminism is bad...not for women...nor for men.
Nobody makes a serious case that the rates of abuse are experienced equally by males and females, only that the EFFECTS of abuse are identical. The fact is that men's violence is the number one cause of injury to women in America, but the reverse is not true...the number one cause of MEN'S injuries in America? Men's violence against men.
("injury" is defined as something other than "natural," so it excludes things like heart disease or cancer. Violence, however, is counted as an "unintentional injury")
However you seem to be thinking that just because the bad information and support is cause of feminism ... I think not. These message boards are sometimes the first place lot's of victim begin to find a voice. The other board Hope for Healing that I participated in had males show up and go through significant processes of healing and sharing and got the same support. One was raped by a brother.
<<< I should be able to go ahead and move past the past and simply go ahead and view my teenage rape as the intended ' RITE OF PASSAGE >>> This is a ridiculous thing to say. Yet it is just along the same line as the stupid stuff people say to victims.
The part of being male seeking support must have nuances that come up similirly and also different from females. LIke the part you talk about people looking at you as a potential perpertrator...that is something to look at...that you were put in with a group of predators ... that's awful.
We're all seeking better ways were here cause none of us got the support we needed. And it definitly sounds like you did not either. And encountered some particularily untalented help. And maybe more resources have to go to specifically developing and catering to male victims.
Women not giving support to men is not a feminist agenda. all these things molestation, rape, assault are called crimes because they do not respect another human beings will or healthy treatment.
And you are free here to express your feelings that this has caused in your life.
So please, in my above post, replace my 99.8% stat, with 95%. Thanks
And I agree with everything else people have said, my ONLY point was the whole "feminist" thing. I absolutely agree men can be victims and that their hurt is just as significant.
And I'm STILL totally a guy, doing all my guy stuff. It hasn't meant losing any of my masculinity in the slightest. It's even given me the most awesome wife ever.
(hi, honey!)
Now we're laying it on pretty thick ;)
Back to business... I guess...
Not a single movie critic or social commentator acknowledged that this movie included rape or a disturbing abuse of power or treated it cavelierly. Had the genders been reversed there would have been an uproar and reams of commentary about sexual manipulation and rape. About four years earlier a huge deal was made about sex abuse in the office because (now Supreme Court Justice) allegedly made a crude joke about public hairs on his can of coke. But an on-screen manipulation of a male minor by an adult professional-class female went without comment. There is clearly a bias in the way society validates survivors of sexual violence and abuse. Considering how important it is for survivors to feel that their pain and experience is acknowledged, this is a serious problem.
But I don't think you can blame feminism for this. In one blow the movie slams both feminism and the rights of male survivors. The whole point of the movie is to satire a woman's drive for professional advancement.
Nor do I think the stereotypes that fuel this bias are really about gender. Small boys who are molested by an adult male get lots of acknowlegement. They are just as male as teenaged boys who are abused. I think it is about power. We can accept women and children being raped by men because it fits our mental model of "strong overcoming weak". We stereotype women and children as weak and vulnerable and adult men as strong and poof, suddenly the world makes sense. But when rape involves two parties both of whom society stereotypes as "weak" or both as "strong", we get confused and take refuge in denial and minimization.
In reality, power is a lot more complex than which group on average is physically stronger. Parents, male or female, have huge emotional power over their children. A woman with a good understanding of the game of reputation can force a man to chose between a rape and a living death with a soiled reputation. A care worker can use society's presumption that they were "just doing their job" to make a victim insecure of their own reality. The person on the receiving end of these kinds of more subtle power is at a real disadvantage. Tom, you are one such person. And your road is very hard.
I hope you get the compassion and support you deserve. What happened to you was very, very wrong.
The way to fight stereotypes is to look at the indivual cases, one by one. I think you are more likely to get the acknowledgment and support you deserve if you do that with your own story. What about your particular experience helped you understand that what your mother and the social worker did to you was wrong? So far, you've just been playing the stereotyping game in reverse. You, of all people, should understand the damage that can be caused by that.
Now I'm glad you have come to realize the world is not all about you.
Perhaps you can begin to become whole and heal.
Tom S. in Tn.
With that being said. You joined this group...welcome aboard, but before you joined I am SURE you read the description of this group. It's goals and objectives. I'm not sure what your looking for here, but it surely cannot fit with the description of this group, with the things you are saying here. We are not exclusive to women assault victims and you are right the males on the group are few. I know that fact has nothing to do with our treatment of male victims of sexual assault but rather choices males make to disclose or not to disclose. To seek help or not seek help. To find a place that they can freely express themselves about THEMSELVES and THEIR OWN FEELINGS.(the glitches in that come when members start judging others AND others Feelings rather than keeping the focus on their own. Just like I simply cannot judge what your feelings or intent towards women is ....YOU SIMPLY CANNOT JUDGE others on this type of forum.
Suppression is a problem for all of the folks I've talked to here at some point after their assault. We all agree on the fact that rape is under-reported ...and the help available to ALL of us is lacking. Pain, loneliness, sadness is not exclusive either gender....we both suffer equally...but Empowered was right. The difference is how the individual genders go about managing the aftermath of the abuse.
Now there are other forums where feminism is viewed as all bad, there are boards that have men as the majority of members. Now Empowered correct me if I'm wrong, but is the intent of this board to seek help for our OWN feelings and Own Behavior as a result of our OWN experiences...or is it ok to compare, judge our individual pain and disgruntled views of the statistics as a flaw against either victim regardless of gender? Because I think it really sucks that the laws on Sexual Assault nationwide and the help for vicitms is so lacking.....which gender can I blame?
Tom....when you want to start working collectively and cooperatively with the members of the board you need to step off. Your reply to Elisheva's kind and tolerant post shows me clearly that your INTENT here is nothing more to spew your hate towards women, regardless of the fact that the women you are interacting with have been victimized themselve.
I am forwarning you...that I will not tolerate this kind of discussion that goes on and on, with your last thoughts no more enlightened than the first. We trying to assure you we have all been victimized, we have all endured, we have all suffered. Your intent is clear to show how you and your gender has been victimized and suffered and continue to suffer from the lack of support due to you. YOU ARE PREACHING TO THE CHOIR Tom...preaching to the choir. We know, and we are ON THIS BOARD TO HELP OURSELVES! Follow the lead or take a step back and evaluate the purpose of being a member of the board!
Thanks and Peace to you
I'm so impressed with everyones ability to willingly share with a new member the 'univeral standard of politeness', no matter what their intent here. Thanks Empowered for promoting that standard, It truly is a standard to live by.