Resurrection After Rape Community Group
Discussion, question-and-answer, general social support, and journal processing for progress-oriented rape survivors. No crisis, no damaging or triggering conflicts--this is for individuals who want to contribute to collective, cooperative action toward the goal of making actual PROGRESS through rape trauma. Much of this work is based on the book "Resurrection After...
Shanta, R.; et. al. (2005). "Long-term consequences of childhood sexual abuse by gender of victim." American Journal of Preventative Medicine, 28:5, 430-438.
Most studies of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) focus on female survivors. But for both genders, risk of CSA correlates to family-related factors such as divorce, domestic violence (DV), substance abuse by caretakers, and emotionally unavailable caretakers. Perpetrators against girls are predominately male (92%), but a notable proportion of CSA among boys is perpetrated by females (38%). This study looked at later-life issues like self-reported alcohol problems, drug use, suicide attempts, marrying an alcoholic, and involvement in DV relationships.
25% of women and 16% of men reported CSA in this study.
Both men and women reported a twofold risk of suicide attempts.
Both men and women reported a 40% increased risk of marrying an alcoholic.
The magnitude of increased risk of alcohol problems, drug use, suicide attempts, marrying an abuser or addict, and current marital problems associated with CSA was similar for both men and women.
Among men, these consequences remained the same magnitude regardless whether the perpetrator was male or female.
The main difference found in studies about the consequences of CSA between males and females had to do with each gender's preferred coping mechanisms; females were more likely to engage in internalizing behaviors (suicidal ideation, eating disorders, self-injury), while males were more likely to exhibit externalizing behaviors (delinquency, heavy drinking, violence).
The study suggests that CSA is common maltreatment in both men and women. It also suggests that the impact is nearly the same for both, as measured by substance abuse, mental health, and social outcomes. This study also refutes the myth that female perpetration of CSA against boys is generally a harmless form of "early sexual experience," a myth often perpetrated by the male victims themselves. On the contrary, CSA perpetrated against boys by an offender of either gender resulted in nearly identical symptoms of trauma. (This fact ought to combat the tendency of the media to refer to female perpetrators of CSA as having "had sex with" a boy).
What we're finding is that the outcomes of CSA are very similar, yet ales continue to under-report CSA. As a result, there continues to be a gap in services, including an unfounded assumption among therapists that sexual trauma impacts females more deeply, so that treatment approaches should be very different.
Most studies of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) focus on female survivors. But for both genders, risk of CSA correlates to family-related factors such as divorce, domestic violence (DV), substance abuse by caretakers, and emotionally unavailable caretakers. Perpetrators against girls are predominately male (92%), but a notable proportion of CSA among boys is perpetrated by females (38%). This study looked at later-life issues like self-reported alcohol problems, drug use, suicide attempts, marrying an alcoholic, and involvement in DV relationships.
25% of women and 16% of men reported CSA in this study.
Both men and women reported a twofold risk of suicide attempts.
Both men and women reported a 40% increased risk of marrying an alcoholic.
The magnitude of increased risk of alcohol problems, drug use, suicide attempts, marrying an abuser or addict, and current marital problems associated with CSA was similar for both men and women.
Among men, these consequences remained the same magnitude regardless whether the perpetrator was male or female.
The main difference found in studies about the consequences of CSA between males and females had to do with each gender's preferred coping mechanisms; females were more likely to engage in internalizing behaviors (suicidal ideation, eating disorders, self-injury), while males were more likely to exhibit externalizing behaviors (delinquency, heavy drinking, violence).
The study suggests that CSA is common maltreatment in both men and women. It also suggests that the impact is nearly the same for both, as measured by substance abuse, mental health, and social outcomes. This study also refutes the myth that female perpetration of CSA against boys is generally a harmless form of "early sexual experience," a myth often perpetrated by the male victims themselves. On the contrary, CSA perpetrated against boys by an offender of either gender resulted in nearly identical symptoms of trauma. (This fact ought to combat the tendency of the media to refer to female perpetrators of CSA as having "had sex with" a boy).
What we're finding is that the outcomes of CSA are very similar, yet ales continue to under-report CSA. As a result, there continues to be a gap in services, including an unfounded assumption among therapists that sexual trauma impacts females more deeply, so that treatment approaches should be very different.
However, I can comment on this on other aspects.
CSA Risk Factors (I often feel casebook) - domestic violence (actually physical violence), substance abuse by caretakers, and emotionally unavailable caretakers.
Yes.. I am part of the 92% --- perpetrator is a male.
I can reply to some later life issues.. some I just can't talk about yet. Suicidal ideation.
If the female gender were made to subdue the affects like men in our society, the whole issue of CSA would be far less dramatic.
Tom S. in Tn.
I would guess that trying to supress the abuse is pretty much universal among both genders.
I can agree with the twofold risk for suicide. I worked 11 years with a man, who actually was my neighbor, and partnered shares in the hay baling business for several years. He ectually helped me get started on my own. Even though he was quite obviously symptomatic at times, I never actually had any first hand knowledge he had been molested as a child until he told me one week before he committed suicide. He was late 50's.
CSA being neither a diagnosis nor a symptom, but rather a causative factor of diagnoses and other symptoms leaves me wondering how accurate any data is with regard to pathology of sexual molestation.
Tom S.
Personally, I have no other choice but subdue CSA in my own life. There is no other option.
Tom S. in Tn.
"If the female gender....made to subdue...." I think I know where you believe you are headed with this comment...but, I am concerned that the wording is a bit offensive...sort of suggesting #1 - that women are NOT made to subdue the effects...like the flip side is what? We flaunt the fact of the abuse? Or, we simply are allowed to express it without recrimination? I'm not sure what you are trying to say.
And, #2 - "the whole issue of CSA would be far less dramatic..." Again, is the "drama" an issue because we are discussing the female portion of the debate? Is this a suggestion women are making the current addrss to CSA an issue that creates or supports the dramatic aire of the debate? Or...that if men were included in the model, the nubers would be so vast when being gender inclusive that the discussion would simply burn out due to overkill?
I mean...this kind of sounds like you are creating a gender bias here...and I simply do no think that is fair. We all know that the published data is probably way lower than the actual incidents that occur, both male and female. Why would anyone think that the molestation of a male would be any less upsetting than that of a female. I seem to see it just the opposite at times. I mean, when a girl is molested by a male in close proximity...it is considered almost mundane...kind of 'expected'. It is not so when a male is molested. Even the reporting of it is somewhat sensationalized because it is not as commonly reported.
I mean, it isn't the exact same thing, but Abner Luima...anyone remember him? Yes, I'll bet you do. Why? Because the crime against him was ugly and vile and brutal...and, because that crime was against a man. I do not know why it is this way. I do not think it should be. I think gender is a useless statistic to keep because it serves no good to the improvement of services to know what gender was involved. When we do our 'studies', how exactly will gender aid us in improving anything?
If I had gone through with my suicide plan in college, instead of flushing the pills, no one would have ever known about the abuse, other than the perpetrator.
I can't help but wonder how many people I know are burdened with similar secrets. Over the course of almost 40 years, I told two therapists. I tend to think there are many people who never tell anyone.
I had no memory. There were several things about me that never made sense about issues around myself and sex. But hey, that is all I knew. In many books that I have read that large pieces of missing memory are common for CSA survivors. The only place were the suppression was broken apart for me was in therapy after months.
There are so many reactions to CSA with many different consequences.
I fit that overachiever, great student and great career. I have that high need to control around me. That in itself can fit with CSA. That behavior is completely acceptable and applauded in society.
I think that it is such a huge trauma. I also look back on a time when I went to therapist about 18 years ago and she treated me. She patched me up. I think that she probably did not have the knowledge base as there is today to treat this stuff.
As I read these books on CSA and rape, then this field is very new. True research and ground breaking books only go back 20-25 years ago. Many more are more recent. I think about "The Courage to Heal" - 1988. I think that there is probably a long way to go in further researching and understanding this.
I am subdue it from memory to emotions to still at many times that it even happened. I think that society would like to think that it does not happen. I sometimes think (now knowing the statistics) that it is happening at my daughter's elementary school or on my street. No one wants to think about that.
Sorry about the rambling.
I wonder something. In a mind like mine...sometimes I wonder about how a thing gets "re-written" into a more acceptable form...."It wasn't sexual...it was discipline". I guess I am trying to say, for some, it isn't JUST suppression, it is reframing a thing that is unthinkable to create...to shore up the concept that all is right with my world. Safety is often found in places where denial resides. "If I do not admit it...in fact refuse to believe it ever was a reality, then reality is exactly what I AM willing to face." Reframing. Creating a new and acceptable form of the same thing. "I don't say the finger never was in the vagina -- I say it was there for a purpose."
If a person finds ways their mind can comprehend a thing and live peacably alongside that re-formatted comprehension, is that wrong? Does is only serve them for a predictably short period of time, before the reality starts to bubble up to the surface, finding a voice once it surfaces? Is this how our minds protect us from the dangers of realizing the full impact of a life lived on the edge of insanity from such a young age? Is this protection...or delayed Hell?
The title of that book..."The Courage to Heal"....it does take courage. It takes hard and painful work, courage...and the willingness to confront a thing that has the probability to impact, and disrupt all we have worked so hard to build - our lives after trauma.
I suppose one question is, how much are we willing to disrupt...unearth...allow....encourage to bubble forth to a voice that is undeniably heard?
Now it's my turn to apologize for rambling. :)
As one person said told me, something that shakes you up so much (it could be many things) that cracks become so big that more things come up that you cannot hold back. For me, it was severe PTSD.
I resonate with this statement "Is this protection...or delayed Hell?" I think that is both. It is protection to enable to live everyday with something that no young mind can comprehend. It is a Hell now. I struggle with that one. Where is the justice in that?
."The Courage to Heal"....it does take courage. It takes hard and painful work, courage...and the willingness to confront a thing that has the probability to impact, and disrupt all we have worked so hard to build - our lives after trauma. - this is so very true.
I keep thinking of what my therapist told me a year ago. "It will get worse before it gets better. There are no words to describe this." That fact that I get that is quite profound in itself.
Not many even here viewing out of fear of the ensuing perpetrator witch hunt that follows disclosure of a males sexual abuse or rape.
The rape crisis center who I was sent to spent 6 months combing me like maggots through a dead horse in an effort to prove me a predator. My therapy consisted of me being interrogated in 1:1 sessions and weekly group with released predators. I was kicked out after 6 months and declared untreatable when they finally decided I must actually be a victim instead of a perpetrator.
Not much sympathy.
It's not necessarily the way we view it, but rather the way the women in charge of making this a national incident view it.
Males have no other choice but conceal and suppress.
ALL the money and resources are spent for female VICTIMS and male PERPETRATORS. That's the John Walsh / Oprah Winfrey prime-time image portrayed for society.
Now to answer your question; Yes.
Being a victim has NEVER been an option for me, a male, and especially one raped by a female.
I CHOOSE to view sexual molestation by my mother when I was younger as play rather than her misdirected hatred toward men.
I have a right to pleasant memories of my mother, even if I have to manufacture them.
But, a female (naturally) social worker with a SA specialty (*) once told me, I should be able to go ahead and move past the past and simply go ahead and view my teenage rape as the intended ' RITE OF PASSAGE ' it was social worker prescribed for.
What do you call it when a male social worker has this done to an underage female client ?
And yes, that feminist mentality still pisses me off............ Tom S. in Tn.
(*) whatever in the hell that is