Looking back isn't always bad. A bit of sentiment and nostalgia can be very healthy. I was just writing a comment about how this group is 5 years old (founded June 28, 2008), and it's made me think about how much I've changed during that time--and for the better.

This group was founded before the "RAR" book was actually published. I remember posting its progress to the group ("Finished another chapter today! Started work on cover art today! I need suggestions for the title"...Did you know that this group's members came up with the name "Resurrection After Rape"?), and celebrating when the first boxes arrived from the publisher. I remember when the Second Edition came out (expanded, improved, re-edited, and updated). I had no idea back then that "RAR" would become the top book in the country for rape trauma treatment! Seriously, women's centers and counseling programs all over America are buying it in bulk now. It went from being "Matt's little book that we love and hate" to a text taught in college classes!

"Letters To Survivors" came out 3 years later (two years ago), winning multiple national publishing awards. Just tonight, a treatment center emailed me to ask for permission to share a few of its letters with all of their incoming clients. Last week, a women's center got a grant to buy "LTS" in bulk to give one to every woman they serve. Each year, women's centers across America email me to ask for permission to stage public readings at "Take Back the Night" rallies. And about two-thirds of the letters in LTS came from participants in this group! That's right, letters written by some of YOU are being shared with women across the country. I even got an email from New Zealand about using LTS with women there!

Since this group started, I've had no fewer than four jobs: therapist, university professor, community organizer, and artist. I'm taking a break from my easel at 3 AM at this moment, in fact.

When this group started, there was no "Survivor's Retreat." That started a year later in 2009 as a group-organized dream. And of the 14 people who were there, I think nearly all of us spent the whole weekend bawling. It really was a healing retreat. Now it's evolved into a celebration rather than a healing-focused event (although we still use the name "Survivor's Healing Retreat" because, well, it's traditional now). And it's grown to over 30 people a year, coming from 17 states and four non-US countries!

Five years ago, I couldn't run sweatlodge ceremonies. Three years ago I completed my final task (a four-day vision fast) and received a healing pipe from an elder, a sweatlodge drum and rattle, and a buffalo hide, and can now run sweats. I've run them at the last two retreats. Last year, my son River joined for a special round (at the invitation of the women at the retreat) for the first time. And this year, he went overseas by himself to spend a week with a family we'd come to know through the retreats.

I can't imagine a better way that my life could change in just five years. Thank you all.