Hep, I'm glad you brought it up but let me make sure you know that none of this was written with ANY particular person in mind. Many, many people who are members of this group have self-harmed and talked/written to me about it, and I'd bet not a single one of them would say that I ever shamed, scolded, or rejected them for it. That's just not me. I'm not "self-harm-ophobic" and I do understand it (I've provided intensive trainings to rooms full of therapists about it), and my book has a lengthy section that makes it clear that I am empathetic and compassionate toward those who struggle with it. So you know where I *personally* am with the issue.

The church's legal department isn't therapists though, so what they ask as far as their agreement is just based solely on liability. So they're not meaning for it to be personal either. I hope we can all enjoy the weekend without any issues, and I believe that we can. It's important for more reasons than to keep our word with the church, but also simply to help protect everyone else's good experiences so nobody has to worry that they'll find themselves "caretaking" in a difficult moment with another person. If someone does self-harm in their personal lives, I need to reiterate that it is absolutely necessary to be well-regulated enough to be able to attend the event without any lapses into harm.

If someone isn't certain they can meet that criteria, I have to risk being a jerk to say don't come. It's THAT important because of my liability. I don't want anyone to be unclear on the purpose of the retreat or to misunderstand it as some sort of intensive psychological boost for their treatment. This has happened before, either with it being misunderstood as purely social with no healing component, or misunderstood as a place to come deal with clinical issues. Someone hoping to resolve a raw trauma should opt for a clinical treatment resource instead. Someone who has done the work to become well-regulated and stable (yes, I said it!) and wants to share time with others would be a good fit for the retreat.

I know it wasn't personal; that's how I felt able to approach it :) when I had told you about it at the retreat, your response was completely nonjudgemental and caring.

I guess from my pov I was thinking that it came out of the blue (self harm) because it wasn't something I was worried about having to avoid for the weekend having been harm free for a while prior to the retreat. So the uncertainty that creates of not being able to guarantee 100% means I would want to do what I could to remove temptation.

I hope I'm not considered too much of a liability now because of one mistake. I have a while to show the group I'm stable though (or will be) :)

No, I don't think that. None of us is where we were a year ago. If you have any concerns, feel free to talk to me in private any time before then.

Thank you :) I will do

YAY for horses and clear expectations that also have compassion!

"Someone hoping to resolve a raw trauma should opt for a clinical treatment resource instead. Someone who has done the work to become well-regulated and stable (yes, I said it!) and wants to share time with others would be a good fit for the retreat. "

I've read about the retreat, and have been wondering how to figure out if I could go/if it's for me, even though it would normally be way out of my comfort zone.
How would you know if you're ready for the retreat? If I've never had any counseling at all, but felt that I could contain myself for a weekend without catastrophic crisis outburst, would that be... enough?
It sounds like there aren't very concrete "qualifications" for going, but I've been struggling with how to figure out if I'm a person that could go/ if I'm ready/ if it would be appropriate/ ??.... if that makes sense?

Yes, that's pretty much all there is to it, quieradonn. We're not trying to be exclusive (exclusivity goes against every molecule of my being--I consider it anathema to every concept I have of mental health, spirituality, and morality).

All we want to be careful of is that nobody arrives with a raw need for counseling, since we're not legally qualified to provide it, and it would unfairly pressure other women to spend their weekend as care-takers rather than companions. We're not expecting everyone to be perfect paragons of self-actualization (ha!). But we do need to have a weekend without crisis issues.

But you're right, there is no questionnaire, no audition, no pre-judged filtering. This is about self-analysis, not passing someone else's judgment. As long as each of you is confidant that you're ready for a fun, meaningful, spiritual, hopeful, calm weekend, that's all any of us can ask!

Again, I'd love to come, but don't have the resources, or a family that would understand and be non-judgemental. And again, I have to hope for another year down the road to be able to attend.

I need to ask for time off work soon so I can be sure to be able to go.

We have a new policy that says there can only be three of us off at a time.

Confirming that May 16-19 are the official dates, which means with travel I should probably ask for 15th through 20th off.

Time to start banking that PTO!

The 2013 retreat page is up and current! The link is t the top of this page (and every page on the DS "RAR" gorup).

w00t! I have the time off! Nobody else has yet asked for time off that far ahead. :)

Officially registered. :) and holding myself accountable by stating it here. Haven't been since the very first one in 2009 and it's a good year to return. :)

I think I'm out this year guys... But I truly hope everyone has an amazing experience! Some of the best times of my life have been on that campground :)

I am not sure I can come either, but I know I will probably spend the whole weekend crying and regretting the fact that I am not sweating with my tribe

I'm *hoping* to come - but the timing looks unlikely at this point... I guess it depends on if I extend at my current contract or not... and if not, where I go after this.