Renal Cell Carcinoma (Kidney Cancer) Support Group

Renal cell carcinoma, also known by a gurnistical tumor, is the most common form of kidney cancer arising from the renal tubule. It is the most common type of kidney cancer in adults. Initial therapy is with surgery. It is notoriously resistant to radiation therapy and chemotherapy, although some cases respond to immunotherapy.

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WHY am I being SO STUPID?

I'm scared. There, I said it. I'm STUPID. There, I admitted it.
I have spent endless time since my diagnosis, in September 2009, educating myself on every possible aspect of this horrible disease. I've had the nephrectomy. I've watched a good friend die from this. I have kept up with most of you on here, whether I posted or not.
So WHY am I running now?
Last week I began having all the same symptoms I had 2 and a half years ago, when I was diagnosed, operated on, and declared CANCER-FREE. What lead to discovering it then, was having symptoms of what I thought was a urinary tract infection. Well, I am now in the throws of the exact same kind of pain, and discomfort again. Is it back? NO, it cannot come back! But why am I SO afraid of going and getting it checked out? I KNOW how UTTERLY STUPID it is to ignore it. But, I am SO DAMN SCARED.
I've been SO lucky. Maybe my luck has run out??
I just found out today that I am going to be a grandmother again in December. I HAVE to be here for that. Right?
I've been SO blessed, especially compared to so many on here, who have been through SO MUCH WORSE than I.
I'm ranting. Sorry. I just felt like I would blow up if I didn't get this out.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
You are truly wonderful people. I know you will kick my butt into shape here.
Love,
Bev

Replies

msgrace
msgrace

Good Morning Hon!

You rant all you want. That is one of the wonderful things about this site. Each of us have our times when we need to "get it out"....and everyone understands.

PLEASE see your doctor asap! If anything is going on, the sooner it's found the better. Also...you may very well have a UTI and need medication for that. I've found over the years that the "not knowing" is the worst!

I'm always here for you if you need a friend. Please keep me updated, and take care of yourself.

Hugs,
Ingrid
Angelpuss
Angelpuss

Bev, No-one is going to kick your butt here because we know how you're feeling. I would be scared, too
Please see your doctor and find out what is going on. I do hope it is an
UTI.
Keeping you in my thoughts,
Congrats, too, on being a grandmother again in December,
Love and hugs
deleted_user
deleted_user

My Dear Bev,

of coarse you are scared, and how you feel is very understandable Bev, but what it all comes down to is you do need to get in and get checked ASAP.. It may be nothing or it maybe something and you know this disease inside and out how fast it can turn into something much worse each day you wait.. One thing you know you have is good instincts and you will always carry the fear of this rotton cancer coming back, but please don't let this stop you from getting a check up right away.. You have good chances as this being a urinary infection or just some other infection so you need to make your health your # 1 priority here.. Even if it is back Bev, you know you have chances as to having surgery where ever it is and also become once again cancer-free but by waiting it could become to late and i don't know how you would get through this.. You need to turn the negative thinking into telling yourself i can do this and look at alot of the people here, including Tim, he is going on 5 years in Aug, this is a a true miracle for us.. The options that are out there today are endless with treating Kidney Cancer, so you must never think this is a death treat to you it isn't please beleive me Bev..
I know you are scared, hell i would feel just as you do, but it's time to get rid of the fears and make the next move.. I would never lie to you Bev, i know whatever happens you will be as strong as my Tim, as i have had to be in supporting him and so many others with this disease and thier spouses who support them completely..
You are a very important women in my life since day one, i love you with all my heart, please, please, seek out the medical attention you need.. You and only you can do this and i trust that you will get this attended to as soon as you can..
Please keep me updated Bev, you mean so much to me..
All my love, hope & faith are with you,
Love,
Becca
Bev821
Bev821

You guys are the absolute BEST people I could ever turn to at a time like this. I am SO GRATEFUL for each of you!
I am calling to reschedule my ct scan tomorrow morning. I think they will be able to get me in by the end of the week. Then I will go from there. Becca, you are SO right, and SO wise, as are you other two women who mean so much to me. I AM strong, and I WILL do whatever I need to do to tackle this.
I love you all, very much, and appreciate your support more than you know,
Bev
deleted_user
deleted_user

Dr Bev,

yes, you are strong my dear friend and thank you for updating us all here.. You will see that the results are not anywhere as bad as you fear, and whatever the cat scan shows you will be ok, no matter what.. Please keep us updated here, we all love you Bev and care so very much about you.

Love you and all my very best for good results..
Love,
Becca
Bev821
Bev821

Becca, I will keep you posted. Prayers are SO appreciated. I love you too! THANK YOU!
txkiki53
txkiki53

We would all be as scared, and we all understand. I am glad you are getting the ct done. please let us know, we are all here for you and sending prayers.
hugs,
Annette
deleted_user
deleted_user

Dear Bev, Believe me when I say that most of us believe in the phrase " Ignorance is bliss" for a second on this journey but the reality is that we have to monitor our bodies closelyt forever and take any actions we need to survive the longest! I am glad you are handling your buisness and please stay strong and keep us informed. Best wishes!
Bev821
Bev821

K, I am set for the scan for this Thursday.
All prayers greatly appreciated.
Thanks to all of you!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Will keep in my prayers. My only daughter is expecting her first child in Nov. I had my kidney out last May and now cancer free but live in the fear it will come back and miss out on birth of her first child. You are not stupid or alone. Will be thinking of you Thursday.

Jean
deleted_user
deleted_user

The best of luck and my God touch your scan Bev!
Bev821
Bev821

Friends, I went to Dallas and had the scan today. I hope to have the results in a day or two.
I began passing blood in my urine last night. I'm frightened, but trying hard to just leave it in the Lord's hands. HE is in control, and I have faith that whatever happens, HE will get us through it. I will keep you posted.
Thank you ALL, especially you, sweet, dear Becca, for your countless wonderful words of encouragment. You are all very special to me.
Bev
msgrace
msgrace

Saying special prayers for you, Bev. Please update us as soon as you have results.
Huge Hugs,
Ingrid
Angelpuss
Angelpuss

Keeping you in my thoughts, dear Bev and hoping for a favourable result for you.
Love and big hugs
Bev821
Bev821

Still no results. Maybe that is a good sign? I see my primary on Monday, but the urologist appointment isn't until the 7th.
I will update when I know.'
Thank you ALL for your concern, kind words, love and prayers.
I appreciate it SO VERY much!
Love you ALL,
Bev