Yes it does; bet/cheat, this day/that day, some days. I have bad hours, or bad days, sometimes a bad hour, or a bad week. W too. I just stare at the wall sometimes -- and wonder about time machines ...

I've decided that driving during these days is just as bad as DUI. I get the urge to drive, but drive where?

So, today, I'm doing laundry. Normal stuff. Somehow it helps.

Yup. Clean the kitchen, concentrate on a problem (I can solve) at work, read, play Spore on the computer, or come here and kvetch! Weather's almost good eneough to do things outside too (burning leaves is very soothing ... (throwing the TV into the brush pile would be helpful too).

I get that way Loving. I throw myself into doing housework, or here lately I've been doing stained glass. It seems like it's the only way to turn your brain off some times. Like Yorick said it's almost nice enough to get out again, I'll pick up my photograghy again. ANYTHING to get me to concentrate on something else.

Loving, hang in there... it's momentary in the big picture.

I agree with Yor. I play Snood on the computer when I need to clear my mind. I don't clean though... I wish I did!

I'm cleaning closets. Tossing the stuff I'll never get into again. Then off to the kitchen to make supper.

Thanks all. I'm working through it.

You have the weepies lovingagain.....(((HUGS))) think of it as a good purge, you'll make it.

I hear yah Loving, today (April 9,07) is the day o/w asked me to come work at her clinic, the start of my hell....I've been in a place of indecision lately...I too, think of the o/w a lot, she has dissapeared, and many of us think she is in the looney bin...I can only hope...You just don't know the evil she has done to so many people....I hope you have a better day....XOXO

It's the ones that come without him having done anything that suck the most. Because usually he is being so good, kind, and loving and expecting to have a great day with you and that is all you want to do. But you have that _itch in your head and you can't make her leave. Your eyes tear up the lump is in your throat and you are trying so hard to push it all away. You don't want to say anything because if you do it will now mean two of you are thinking about it and your "great day" will definitely be ruined. You don't want to bring her up because if he hasn't been thinking about her, then why in the world would you want to make him.

It sucks so bad. The only thing that helps me kick her out is thinking that I don't want to give her that satisfaction.

Unfortunately, that is true. I can be doing something, not a thought in my head about the affair and then (((BAM))) out of nowhere it hits me like a high speed train.

The trick is to try to pull yourself back as quick as you can.

Yes and I truly hate these days. I feel like I am giving her power over my life.

I totally numbed out on my H's birthday last Sunday because it was such a horrible time last yr for me.
It really wasn't fair to him at all. He didn't even know why. I know it hurt him and I just couldn't tell him.
Sometimes I think hiding some of the triggers are better than throwing them in between us.
Atleast the way I did it he could have fun and go see a movie with the kids.
I got him a cake though! lol

I can totally relate, things are so much better between H and I. but then out of blue I just can't get ow out of my head. How can we ever get over this? I feel like I don't deserve to be here giving advice... I feel everyone's pain and I think I should be able to get over my pain - it was a one night fling - get OVER it already- but I can't. ow was so much younger, prettier.. I hate that I feel this way. I was so secure in my marriage. My self esteem has gone out the window. I hate that I will never be that trusting woman I once was.
I hate that my H did this to us.

I realize now that our marriage was in trouble I just hate that it took something so awful for us to see that we needed help.

I am so sorry. I know those triggers just creep up on us and BAM!!! stabbed right in the heart. We have been though some really painful things this cheating crap is so hurtful, PLEASE just remember, don't let the OW get you down. You are so much better then her. You have class, morals and values and you can look ANYONE in the eyes and know that YOU ARE BETTER!!!!!!

I have started running. Every other day I run bout 1.5 miles to clear my mind. I thought I would be tired but I am not I use the time to have a peace of mind. When I am running that is the only time I am not thinking why me how could he, what did I do. I feel like good some I am gonna keep it up. You just have to find something to clear you mind.

It's been a year for me this week since I found out about my Husband's infidelity. I am suddenly depressed, teary eyed, and angry.