Huh? Plans? What's a valentine?

*ducks and runs*

Dang. I already wrote a seven page letter pouring my heart out. Now what! How can I top that!

I'm having oral surgery Monday so my plans for Valentines day are to eat soup and take ibuprofen.

Oh, lotus good luck with your surgery. Hope your spouse will pamper you for a few days to a week afterwards.
I have not made plans for Valentine's yet. Have bawled my eyes out the last two. Dday was 2/13/10 so the last 2 Valentine's have been tough. Last year was 1 year and 1 day and I got absolutely nothing from my H. I remember he left work early due to not feeling well, told me he was going to stop somewhere on the way home so I had gotten my hopes up (only to be deeply disappointed that evening). He said all cards and flowers were picked over. He didn't even tell me that he loved me last Vday (I think due to feeling so badly still about everything maybe and he did end up being off the rest of the week sick so he wasn't feeling well). Sometimes I wish just like our DVR's can skip and fast forward commercials that we could just skip the 14th and move on to the 15th. H came home last night and said a coworker asked him what he was going to do for me for Dday and he listed a few things, but I dare not get my hopes up that he will do even one of the things he rattled off last night: taking me out to dinner (which will probably have to be on a weekend as he works late during the week). He mentioned flowers, but honestly I haven't gotten flowers in a very long time, except this past summer/fall he got a few that wouldn't die to put outside which I thought was very practical and they should come back every spring if I haven't killed them. So, anyways my goal is to get through 2 year anniversary of Dday and Vdday without any crying. We shall see.

Opps, that should read coworker asked what he was doing for Vday, not Dday...

ANew - I have told H I would like a real love letter, we'll see if he delivers,, but I have to say unless your H took a class that my H missed on "how to read minds" then you have to TELL him what you want,,unfair to get upset with him for not doing what you want when you don't tell him what you want.

Cole- I have a suggestion for you. Assuming Gabby will be working on vday since it's a tuesday, what if you went to work with her all day that day? Get the jobs done in less time, and have a nice lunch or somethings sans kids. :)
Beyond- I soooo hope this vday is much better for you!

Now as to what I'm going to do for H? I have no idea. We have never really gone over top vday anyways, its 2 weeks after my bday and 2 weeks before our anniversary. We have always given kids vday gifts candies etc.
So I'm open for suggestions

The Beach family has always had lobsters on Valentine's Day. I dropped the tradition after dday because the OW was from MAINE (HOME of LOBSTERS and LOOSE WOMEN, obviously). But I am tired of letting HER take away a family tradition....so I guess it will be Lobsters again this year and I will choke that sucker down just to spite her.

I've been trying to think of something for Valentine's Day myself. H will have the day off - which almost never happens. I really want to do/give/be something special but I'm at a loss.

My son's girlfriend did a sweet thing by doing a candlelight picnic for my son. (Aww... right?) But to make things super sweet, she taped hearts all over the table and on each heart she had written a significant event of theirs and the date on which it occurred. (For example: May 4, 2010: our first kiss) It was such a great idea!

Sort of hard to do such a thing for me because a) 17 years of memories is a LOT of freaking hearts and b) I suck at dates - I couldn't even tell you exactly when we started dating because the lines are sort of fuzzy. One day he's holding my hand telling me he hopes we can be friends after the cruddy way he's been treating me and the next I'm pregnant with his child. Everything in between is a blur. Heh.

H is not a verbal person and I (uhhh ya think?) am - so my pages of love letters or sweetly scribed love poems received side hugs and lopsided smiles and mumbled "Uh... thanks." Hardly the response I was looking for after the time and emotion invested, so uh, not going that route. I thought about maybe giving him a nifty journal where he could paste things into it or put pictures or write down things and title it "Once Upon a Time: PART TWO" - a sort of starting over and a way for him to document memories of our time from here on. I thought I'd put little momentos of this past year (happy ones!) and let him add to it as he pleased.

Just not sure he's sentimental enough to "get it".

I s'pose I could just stick with a typical steak and a BJ but that seems so predictable. *sigh* Looking forward to seeing what other people are doing/giving.

Steak and a BJ.....LOL!

Allora: Rather than make hearts with important dates maybe you could cut out hearts and write on each one what you "love" about him and put them on the table or in a card......Maybe it would generate a conversation with each other on what qualities you love about each other.

Allora, I was thinking you could cut out hearts and write the dates that had to do with the A (lol). Actually I like the idea of the hearts and think that you could even write down maybe special events post D-Day or positive things about your marriage that your happy about. For example on a heart "I love how we talk to each other" "I love how we listen to each other".

Cole, I think KS's idea is a great idea. The letter is perfect but to do something out of the ordinary or what you do day to day is something special. My H is not one to express himself, especially in a letter so when he wrote me a letter it meant more to me than anything else.Taking the time out of his day would also be great.

Beach, I like that you took the day back and are enjoying lobsters again. Maybe you could add something to the meal as a new tradition, like a special dessert or drink. BTW, the OW has a house in ME too. Maybe they're one in the same. Ugh, I hate ME (maine).

I guess anything out of the ordinary is really what makes us feel special. Isn't that what the day is all about.
I'm going to steal the heart idea and maybe scatter them on the bed instead.

Cole, write a TEN page letter! ;) I love the idea of spending the day with her... not me, you, lol.

Allora, lol!! ”Feed me, relieve me, where's the remote?” I think I heard a comedian say that years ago. It's hard being the more intuitive, in-touch-with-my-feelings, verbally expressive partner, isn't it? My MC just talked about this very thing this past week about how the more creative and expressive partner spends all this energy making a handmade card, writing down all these beautiful sentiments, and then getting a 99 cent card with only a signature. So I have to change my perspective. I enjoy the creative outlet, the process, and the finished product. It's a piece of me that I find worthy enough to give my h because those stupid commercial cards just don't cut it with their overly sappy, saccharin sweet poems... Or the silly funny ones that are too flippant. Where the hell are the cards that say, ”Gee, it's been a sucky year, but I'm (somewhat) glad we're still together.” Anyway, do try to find how your h expresses his love for you on a daily basis. Some examples might include: He kisses you, takes out the trash, goes to MC with you, fixes stuff around the house, etc. My h is very 'acts of service' oriented, according to the Five Love Languages. He does stuff to show he loves me, and in some ways, to do it on a daily basis means more than just one day of receiving some flowers at work, you know what I mean? Well, that's my plan, and I'm gonna try to stuck

*stick to it. Dang, I hate typing on my phone.

Beach, maybe you could share some of that delectable lobster with OW? You know, ship it to her slow freight. ;)

Even though Valentine's day is embedded into our culture because of the floral and greeting card industries, it doesn't mean we have to take a jaded eye to it. I like Beach's idea of cutting out hearts and outlining what you love about him. Or talk about your wedding day? First date? Just to get the conversation flowing about the good memories. Go out to dinner where you had your first date? (And then a BJ, lol.)

This will be my first Valentine's day since dday. And my wedding anniversary is a few days later, so it's a double whammy for me. I was dreading it, but now I'm going to try to take it by the horns and choose to make it a good month.

And mind you, dear DS friends, I'm going to have a glass of white zinfandel in your honor!

Hey, I just found out our daughter won't be home for Valentine's Day. I think I'll meet H at the door naked.....holding the lobster. Now that will be special.....and different.

just watch the claws and I bet you could have alot of fun with the butter.